I have been longing for the Asus Google Nexus 7 2nd Gen for a month now. The fact that it's being pulled out from stores to make way for the HTC Nexus 9 makes it more valuable. I have been looking for the 32GB Nexus 7 around SM North Edsa for two weeks, and I've only seen two stores. It was really frustrating when the day came that I would buy one, and the stores weren't selling them anymore. Still, I chanced upon Gigahertz and miraculously, they have one last stock.
It wasn't a new unit, it was already opened. I was going to point it out but I was too excited to have my hands on it. It was a little disappointing tho that it was starting up really slow and the kuya had to force shut down and restart just to make it work. I was already having second thoughts on buying an opened unit. I tried to check the unit, but the store didn't have internet connection. It wasn't lagging, since there were only the preloaded apps, and no internet to update the operating system. Since it was already late, we just bought it. I told myself to just check it our when I got home.
I updated the OS from 12MN-3AM. I was able to update it to Kitkat 4.4.4 when I started downloading apps like Twitter, Tumblr, KakaoTalk, and so on. It was when I open an app that it suddenly just crashed. I started restarting it, but it was on loop on the Google logo. I did several factory resets but nothing happened. I came to the conclusion that it was a defective unit. I decided to consult online sources, but it being an "old" nexus, it's microsite has been taken down by Google.
So, anyway, I went back to Gigahertz after my 4PM class. I told them I was returning the unit and that I wanted my money back. They asked why, and I explained that the unit was defective. They asked someone to try to fix it first, told me that I can get a new unit in a few hours, if only I could just sit down. So, I did. I patiently waited, but I didn't have a Nexus 7 at the end of the day. Other branches don't have the model I bought. I told them, well then, give me back my money. They said they can't because it still need to be approved. Approved by what? In what case can it be disapproved? Surely, I should get my money back since, well obviously, I wasn't able to get my money's worth. They told me that the policy is first, try to change the unit, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE IT, so, maybe you can buy something else of the same price, BUT I DON'T WANT TO. I am buying an Asus Google Nexus 7, 32GB because it is now being pulled out from the market. I payed for it, and that's what I want. Why are they telling me what to get for my money? So, they told me to calm the shit down and promised that they will call their supplier and promised that I will get my unit within the week.
What has Gigahertz SM North Edsa violated? 1. It is printed on the receipt that there is an outright 7 day return/exchange for defective units. Which can not be according to RA 7394 Consumer Act of the Philippines.
2. It is the choice of the buyer if he/she wants a refund or an exchange. The store can not insist that they exchange the unit. RA 7394.
I am just really disappointed that most stores insist they make money. And I am quite disappointed that because of this, most Filipinos would think they don't have the right to return or exchange defective goods. Nevertheless, I just want my Nexus 7 on Thursday as they promised. And whether or not I get it, I will make sure to file a complaint in DTI. Labels: #life, #manic, #update, %english, `life, `problem, gigahertz, murderous, nexus 7, tatak pinoy, text
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Just a personal update on me. Because I love talking about myself, a flaw I share with every human being born to a modern world.
I have finally shifted into a course and college! I am now taking up Bachelor of Public Administration in the National College of Public Administration and Governance. I honestly applied blindly, not knowing what it is about. But, I'm glad I got in and that I signed with them. B. PA is a pre-law, so, I might actually end up taking law after all. Unfortunately, I am accustomed to reading fiction and writing nonsense; the total opposite of what we do in B PA. My classes are all theoretical this sem, all readings heavy, I might explode in any minute. But, so far, so good, I'm actively participating and enjoying my classes.
I would love to rant about why I did not get into Geology, or Clothing Technology. But the downward spiral of the quality of education in UP might be enough explanation for some colleges desperate moves of "keeping the delinquents out". And I'll leave it at that.
There's really nothing else I can say about myself. I've been planning to talk about DotA but someone else beat me to it, so I just gave up. Haha.
Some sensible posts soon!
♥ Labels: #life, #random, #update, %english, `life, `me
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It was a weird sem, last sem was.
I've heard from most people that it had been their worst sem (so far). It was, too, for me. I was forced to go Non-Maj, it was a billion times harder to get classes, I had a 5:30-7PM WF class, and... well, I could list all the fuck-up's and, yet, it was actually the best sem I've ever had, too.
When I got the Geol 40 class, I was (though, still am) really determined to do good with the sem. I took it as a sign from God, that He is finally giving me what I want and that I have to do my best not to fuck it up. I had lesser missed and late classes. I would actually study earlier than the night before the exam. I read ahead the lectures, most of the times. I read notes, if applicable. I was, in a sense, being a better me. I was, finally, studying.
I guess that's the reason I felt so stressed. Because, though I wasn't hoping for uno's, I was hoping to get better grades... anything is better than what I've had before, anyway.
I did study. I did get better grades. I did dream. Yet, I still failed to get what I want.
There is no such thing as "work hard and you'll get what you want." Life is just luck.
I seem to be unlucky. Labels: #drama, #life, %english, `life, suicidal
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to my hs schoolmate, friend, kapakapatid, Geo
Di ba naging close tayo? Naaalala ko pa kung pano tayo naging close. Kasi, magkapitbahay tayo ng classrooms. Haha. Tapos sinasabihan mo ko na cute, na crush mo ko. Niloloko naman kita na pwede ka na rin, cute na rin, haha. Pero, sabi mo may crush ka talaga... Tinatanong mo pa ko kung paano ba manligaw. Tinatawanan pa kita nun. Sabi ko, bata ka pa, wag ka magmadali. Pero, go ka pa rin. Kasi nga crush na crush mo sya, sabi mo. Eh di, sige, "kung gusto mo talaga."
Naalala ko pa yung tinext mo ko, Sunday 'yun. Sabi mo nag-date kayo. Tas nahalikan mo sya. Tinawanan na naman kita. Sabi ko masyado kang nagmamadali. Pero, sige lang, kasi masaya ka naman. Kaya masaya na rin ako.
Tapos naging kayo na. At alam kong masaya ka talaga.
Paano nga ba tayo natigil magkatext?
Ah. Nung nagkaproblema ako sa sarili kong relationship ata. Blinock out ko rin lahat. At nung okay na ko, di na kita nabalikan.
Pero, hindi naman tayo nag-away. Di rin naman tayo nagkalayuan ng loob. Okay pa rin tayo. Cool pa rin tayo sa isa't isa kahit di na tayo close tulad ng dati.
Naalala ko rin pala, na napagusapan natin noon kung paano kahirap ang buhay.Di ba? Andaming problema. Andaming kailangan gawin. Andaming kailangan ma-achieve. Andaming ganito, ganyan. Pero, di ba, sabi ko sayo masama mag-give up. Ang hindi ko lang nasabi kung bakit masama 'yun.
At nagsisisi ako na hindi kita nasabihan. Sorry, kasi late ko rin narealize kung bakit mali 'yun. Sana pala, nag-share ako agad sayo nung time na nag-reflect ako. Kaso, hindi na rin kasi tayo ganun kaclose. Sorry na hindi natuloy yung closeness natin. Sorry na hindi kita natulungan, na hindi kita nakausap, na hindi ko alam na may pinagdadaanan ka pala.
Gusto kitang pagalitan ngayon. Pero, I also feel so sorry for you. I'm sorry that you felt that it was the only way out for you.
Alam mo, masama yun. Masama mag-give up. Lahat tayo nawalan na ng minamahal sa buhay. Diba, yun ngang grandparents na alam na dapat natin na law of nature, everybody will die someday. Pero, pag may nawala, kahit by old age, ang hirap pa rin tanggapin. Paano pa kaya yung ikaw mismo nagdecide na ayaw mo na? Sobrang hirap para samin. Lahat kami apektado. Lahat kami may pagkukulang sayo. Ang bigat ng loob naming lahat. Andami naming para sayo, andami naming nagmamahal sayo, pero, wala kaming nagawa. Hindi mo man lang kami nakausap, nasabihan na may problema, na nahihirapan ka na.
Sana nanood ka nalang ng anime. Sana naglasing ka nalang. Sana nag-drugs ka nalang. Siguro madali lang makalimutan 'yun. Pero, yung ganto? Yung hindi ka na namin makikita til we reach our own time? Sobrang hirap talaga.
Sadyang totoo nga na yung mga tayong sobrang sayang kasama dahil sobrang masayahin sila ay ang mga taong maraming tinatagong hirap sa buhay.
Geo, I know na there should have been a better world for you. I'm sorry you are no longer here to be in it.
Labels: #drama, #life, %taglish, `friends, `life, sad
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Hi, everyone. It's been three million years since the last post, so, I figured I really need to write something, anything. Sorry about that.
So, first of all, HAPPY 2013! Today is the start of my 25th month with Marcgell. We are defly keeping it tight. Because love.
Speaking of love, I want to talk about my parents. Every morning, when I have a lot of time before doing the things I have to do (like eat breakfast, bathe, go to class...), I think of how lucky I am with my parents. I honestly pray to God and thank him for giving me the parents that I have. If there really is a God, he'll have a list of why I love my parents.
I believe my parents love each other so much. If they ever fight, they don't show us. They have little misunderstandings sometimes, I admit, but never serious. My Dad still kisses my Mom. My Mom still cooks what my Dad wants. They do lambing even if it's gross sometimes, lol. Kidding.
My Dad used to go home every weekend, said he misses us. It's been six or seven years since then, I think. Now he goes home every other weekend, just because my Mom was able to convince to not travel Manila-Vigan-Manila every weekend. My Dad's efforts to be with the family is remarkable. He travels 8-10 hours, one way, just to be with us. My Dad is Superman.
My parents provide for us. We might not have Mac laptops (not like we want them, anyway), or iPad, or iPhones, but, they provide for us. We have our laptops, our mobile phones, our lunch money... They pay for our tuition. They ask us how we are, tell us to do good, remind us that they love us. They give us what we need to survive, to be sane, to be normal kids that we are; and sometimes more just to show off.
I'm not sure if my parents are strict. I think they're quite fun. They let us have our fun. Also, I feel that they trust us. They are just awesome people.
I wish to have a happy family like the one my parents built for us. My parents have the ideal relationship and the best sons and daughters. :) Labels: #update, `life, fireworks
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I'm not sure if I'm mean or kind, naughty or nice. (Santa says you're naughty. HO. HO. HO. Kidding.)
Me: Kuya, dito po ba kukuha ng ticket kung may reservation?
Kuya Guard: Saan po ba kayo papunta?
Me: Aparri po.
Kuya Guard: Dito po.
Me: Kapag hindi po ba sa Aparri, sa iba kukuha?
Kuya Guard: Dito pa rin po.
Me: Eh, bat nyo pa tinanong?
Kanina Dito sa Dorm, iba yung Guard
*just got back sa dorm*
Ate Guard: ID.
*nilabas ko ID ko, smile, alis*
*lumabas after 10 minutes, kasi umihi, tas uminom, at nag-iwan lang ng konting gamit*
*nasa may Zoo Building na ko napansin kong wala yung coin purse ko*
NOTE NA ANG ZOO BUILDING AY NASA TAPAT LANG NG DORM
*bumalik ako ng dorm*
Ate Guard: ID.
*nilabas ko ID ko, tas nagmadaling pumasok*
Ate Guard: *galit na tone* Sana kasi nilalabas na agad yung ID.
Me: Kagagaling ko lang dito, sana, ate, naalala niyo nalang ako.
Labels: #update, %tagalog, `life, murderous
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I do my best to be a good friend and listen to people's concerns. I get so much drama from people's lives, aside from mine, sometimes I don't even want to listen anymore. Problema ko na 'to dati pa, kasi, hindi ako marunong humindi.
I just noticed how diverse this world is. I've listened to so much problems and shit that I've actually mentally categorized them. (petty to suicidal ranking)
1. Boyfriend / Girlfriend issue - "Hindi s'ya nagpaparamdam." "Niloloko niya lang ako." "Sawa na ko."
You're in a relationship to feel special, and to make your life easier and better.
Here's the solution to your fucking stupid problem: Yes or No, answer honestly. With your thinking brain, not your beating heart.
- Do you want to end up with that kind of person?
- Do they constantly and effectively show they care about and love you?
- Will your family and friends like your partner?
- Is your partner honestly the best person to connect and understand you?
If the answers are all yes, just say your apologies and make up. If not, then you're wasting your time, and mine, too.
Mayabang lang din siguro ako, pero, ang problema lang namin kasi ni Marcgell kung kelan kami magkikita at magkakasama ulit. Fighting is too mainstream.
2. I'm failing my class(es).
You're talking to the wrong person. But, me, not being able to talk back unless it's via my blog, I just shut up and listen. I am not doing well myself. K? So, stop reminding me.
3. Hunger Games - "wala akong time kumain" "gutom ako" "wala akong pagkain" "walang pambili ng food"
If I have money, ililibre ko kayo. If I have food, bibigyan ko kayo. Pero kung mas mayaman naman kayo at alam nyong totoo yan, please lang, 'wag paulit-ulit i-mention sakin na gutom kayo kasi wala akong magagawa para tulungan kayo. I know the feeling, too. I complain about this a lot. Ito lang ata ang problemang kayang-kaya kong ipangalandakan sa publika: "gutom ako."
4. Parent issues - "my parents hate me" "my parents hate each other"
My parents being great, I sometimes feel awkward and uncertain on how to react to this problem. Ano ba dapat kong sabihin, eh, 'yung sitwasyong ito, I'm not familiar with? So, sorry if I don't help much.
What I know is, your parents are the reasons why you came to life. Be thankful to them, even if you get BV all the time. If it wasn't for them, you wouldn't be able to taste ice cream, or buy clothes&shoes, or meet classmates, or go to school.
From my ever BFF roommate Chan, "choice na nila 'yun. Kung gusto nilang mag-away, basta sila lang." At kung ayaw ka rin nila, di, keri lang din. Ano magagawa nila, wish you were never born? Oh? Tapos? Ngayon pa, andyan ka na. 'Di nag-condom kasi sana sila. Just live your life, and don't hold any grudges against your parents.
5. No Cash
Number 1 problem ko rin 'to. Kapag legit na walang pera 'yung nagrereklamo sakin, sobrang supportive ako. Pero, kapag alam kong 'yung "walang pera" ng friend ko is actually "have cash" pa para sakin, chaka lang ako. Kebs ko sayo, mayaman ka lang kasi. Tas ipangsa-Starbucks mo lang? Wag ka dito magreklamo, kutongan pa kita, eh.
Maybe it's because I'm the type that talks to my blog, and keep my problems between me and whoever's involve kaya minsan, hindi ko maseryoso 'yung mga problema ng iba. Or, maybe it's because I know other people have far worse problems than their boyfriend not replying, their grade hanging by the thread... Kids of our age in other parts of the world are already working, some never had a chance to go to school, some never met their family, some are already parents...
Life is not limited to boyfriend, school, money, parents. Life is not about the things you've accomplished, but the struggles you had to overcome to make these accomplishments. Labels: #list, %taglish, `life, `school, random
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I am Lor, batch head of 11D, now Lady Herald of Theta Epsilon Sorority. I may be a part of the baby batch, but I am an active member. As much as possible, I finish everything I have to do to be able to help with Sorority work.
Theta Epsilon, even from the very start, seems so perfect for me. It's really hard to explain things that should be kept low profile. So, as of now, just take my word for it. This sisterhood is perfect for me. :)
Helping other people is never easy. We have to plan it, put it to paper, look for money / sponsors, put it to paper, and finally execute the plan. We are but students, too. We are busy with acads, family matters, friends. Still, we make everything work. We were able to have the blood letting activity and the outreach program.
Being in a sorority has its advantages. First of, it gets in your resume. Second, you get to experience the wealth of the alumni. No kidding. And, well, of course, the undeniable good memories made with the brods and sisses. :) Memories of working together, simple chit-chats, and going through drama together.
Sis Inah, my high school senior, thank you for inviting me into this exclusive circle. Congratulations for being the Lady Keeper of the Whip.
Mommy Cams, then LKW, thank you for convincing me to join. Thank you for telling me to never give up. Thank you for telling me to always follow my heart. :) I love you still.
Bossang Cherry, kahit ilang ulit n'yo akong sinindak para lang maibigay 'yung gusto mong iparating - show your worth - Thank you. My loyalty is forever yours.
Lia, my batchmate, now Lady Keeper of the Scroll, my partner in crime (forever and ever), I love you. :) Sums it all.
My other batchmates, Mai, Van, Amery, Chel, and Ienne, sisses, let's all give back to the sorority. :) Let's work together. Let's make more lives easier, let's spread more laughter. :) I love you~!
HAPPY 38th YEARS, UP THETA EPSILON SORORITY!
Truth and Enlightenment through service to all.
P.S.
Thank you, aTheng Connie, founder, for the jacket~! :)
caricature by Maj Rosario (color via PS, me)Labels: #life, #update, %english, `life, fireworks
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Madalas akong tanungin ni Marcgell, " 'di ka ba naniniwala?"
'Di raw ba ako naniniwala na mahal nya ako? Or, na ako lang? Or this, or that? Hindi ko diretsong masagot ang tanong na ito. Iba kasi kapag trust at faith 'yung issue.
Una sa lahat, hindi naman talaga ako 'yung tipo ng tao na mahilig mag-trust sa iba. In all honesty, kay Marcgell lang 'ata ako naging honest ng tuloy-tuloy... 'Yun nung hindi pa kami. Totoo, may times na nag-lie ako kina Mea, Irah, Ivana, Reyna, Toffer, Paula, Nica, Vil, Pajas, Arden, Andrew... Pero kay Marcgell, wala akong maisip na time na I lied. I might have, siguro about something stupid and irrelevant with life. It's ironic, actually, knowing that he's a blabbermouth.
And, well, nung nagawa n'ya ngang isabay ako sa ibang babae n'ya, nawala lahat ng trust ko sakanya. 'Yung tipong, "there's a lie in there, somewhere," every single time he tells me something. He exaggerates things, over-reacts, and well, he's selfish, too. Lying to him is like breathing. I should just nod and say okay. That's how my mind worked during those times.
IDK how I got past that stage. Maybe, just maybe, it's love. LOL. Ang cheesy, shit! Shoot me now! :)))
It's faith. Faith in this relationship. I want to believe that this is it. Anong sense ng relationship kapag iisipin mong, "maghihiwalay rin lang kami."? Di ba? (At, 'yun nga, may natutunan naman pala ako kay Vil. Yey~!) I want to believe that, even if we failed to start this right, we'll have to end this right: together at the altar.
It's faith. Faith in him. I want to believe him when he tells me he loves me. I want to believe that we really will make everything okay. I want to believe that all this shit, every little drama, is just me over-reacting. I want to hear every "I love you" and chills will run down my spine. I want to read every "I love you" and a brand new smile will find my face. I want to feel every hug and every kiss, and know that he really loves me.
I don't like you lying to me. I don't want you to pretend. So, please, tell me everything. I know, it takes time, but I'll trust you completely again someday. For someone who rushed into a relationship, who am I to demand time, right? WRONG. I get what I want, and that's time. Time for you to spoil me more... SELFISH? Haha. :))
Also... Maybe I have my guards up too high for a girl who's demands keep coming in... But, you know, all the hassle is worth it, right?
Labels: #life, %taglish, `life, `me
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Andami kong gustong i-blog.
This weekend, as in Saturday and Sunday, lang siguro ang matinong rest day, ulet, for a very long time.
BUT, I'm not complaining for the lack of time to do nothing. I love having something to do. Since, ayoko ng dull moments with just myself.
Anyway, like I said, andami kong gustong i-post. I want to talk about Mommy Cams, Ninang Kim, Rock Infinitum 3, Marcgell, Christmas, my Lola Lily, Marcgell, my batchmates, and some other stuff... like acads. 'Cause I have that, too. :|
Anyway, I really missed Mommy Cams. It's been two months, and, well... Ayokong masanay na wala sya. I'm so glad na nag-attend sya ng Rock Infinitum 3. Tho, hindi kami nakapag-kwentuhan, ang saya ko pa rin na nakita ko sya, busy, hyper. Buti na rin at dumating sya, since may nag-entertain ng alumni. (Totally forgot about that. :O Oops.)
Saludo ako kay Ninang Kim. Hindi ko sya piniling maging ninang, at wala lang talaga akong choice noon, na, parang binigay talaga sya ni God para maging ninang ko. x) Hala. OA na. Anyway, maganda grades n'ya, may social life siya, at ang sexy nya talaga. x___x Someday, I'll be like her. HAHAHAHA.
Hindi ko na naman pinag-iisipan mga sinasabi ko dito...
Jejemon. Labels: #update, %taglish, `life, `school
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They say we miss the past because we're not quite happy of the present, or we don't see a promising future.
I have been going back to the past lately. And by lately, I mean every time I get the chance since midterms last sem. I'm trying to look for the exact time that I lose track of what I really want in life.
Right now, I'm going with the flow. Acads' fine, social life's fine... But, then what?
I know there was a time I was so sure of what I want in life. I had it all figured out, mapped, planned. All I had to do is tick off every goal I finish. But, I'm not getting anywhere. My heart is not happy with what I'm doing. I don't feel that this is what I want to do.
I don't want to be a Physicist anymore. I like Physics. I love the thrill, the chase, the challenge. But. I'm too scared, I'm fragile. I can only be rejected once. I just... can't... anymore.
Actually, I'm too scared for anything and everything right now. I don't have the confidence to be an Engineer, either. I don't know what I want to be. I don't think I want to be this way: Studying Sciences and Maths, and shit. Why? Why this? Did I srsly wanted this to be my life? I want to go back in time and slap myself. Why?
My heart does not belong here. But, what can I do? I can't back down now, can I? I'll just mindlessly go with this shit of a "future" I planned. I was so naive, believing I'd get to love the things the world wanted me to love. Labels: #cw, #life, %english, `life, `me, `school
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There are things I can't seem to learn: Patience and Trust.
People mistake my lack of creativity of giving up and letting go as patience. There have been a lot of times that I just want to say "it's enough", but I can't think of a way to express it. Hindi ko maisip kung paano ko sasabihing, ayoko na. Then there are times that I make up my mind, I'm sure I want to end something, other things come up and won't let me to. 'Yun bang tipong, hindi ka pala pwedeng mag-give up. Kasi 'yun ang sabi ng society , or ng religion , or ng parents mo, or ng friends mo... And so I pretend to enjoy whatever's there. Then it becomes a "part" of normal life. I just ignore it.
Trust. I don't trust people completely. There's always a part on me that says, "baka gaguhin ka rin n'yan." Still, I'm the type of person that gives everything 'til I'm sure it's wrong to do so.
I started doubting when I told the truth and was accused of lying. It might have happened several times, but, one too many cases. It escalated when I lied and got away with it. Why is everybody trying to complicate everything?
The rain makes me think too much.
Labels: #life, %taglish, `life, `me, suicidal
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You only have 24 hours left in you life, how would you spend your last hours?
I can't wake up one day and find a note on my night stand saying: "You have 24 hours left. Enjoy!" I have lots of plans for my life. I have places I want to go to, people I want to meet. One day is not enough for me to satisfy my thirst for adventure and power.
But if I do wake up and find a note on my night stand saying I have 24 hours left to live this life, I'd make sure I have enough Taurine and Caffeine. It's show time.
I'd spend my first hour telling everyone that it's my last day on Earth. This comes with, "give me money or I'll die poor" line. I'd slap in the face those I hate, and I'll just smile at those I love. No time for chit chat. DO NOT TALK TO ME. Talk to me when I'm dead and I have the time to listen.
Since there's not enough time to travel around the world, and I'm sure there's not enough cash, either… I'll just go to places near and convenient. I want to be alone.
No, wait… SCRATCH THAT.
I'll look for SEUNG RI, OR TOMA, OR KEITO, and rape them. There goes my last 23 hours on Earth.
"Why would it matter, I'm gonna die anyway."
[scheduled post] Labels: #cw, %english, `fandom, `life
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The question I got is from Niki: If you were to repeat a specific part in your life, what would it be?
Every time I have exams, I ask myself: Why am I here? Why did I enter this university? I could have stayed in the province, study in the local university and be one of the smartest, and I'd be doing what I want to do, what other people should be doing right now…
But, I'm not saying I don't want to be here in UP. After exams, "yes, I did it." But, just before I enter a classroom, I always want to go back to time I was sure of what I really want.
If I could go back to a specific part of my life, that would be when I choose to enter UP. I want to go back to when I chose to be in these classrooms, with different people from different places. I want to go back to when I looked forward to being here with you guys, suffering together.
I want to go back to when I didn't have all of these (yet). Sometimes, it's nice to go back to the time where everything is just a dream.
We had less than two minutes to prepare, so I was a little, uhm, unorganized. We had another two minutes to deliver, so I kinda messed up a bit. Labels: #cw, %english, `life, `me, `school
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By Delfin Mercado It is morning once again. The night has come and gone in a whirlwind f blurred colors and hushed voices. The stale half of a jelly-filled donut lies on top of a bundle of envelopes and paper. Crushed coffee cups, cigarette butts and empty fastfood cartons litter the floor.
On every available bench and chair, someone is trying to catch a few minutes of sleep. The effect of that last cup of coffee I drank a few hours ago is already wearing off. My eyelids are drooping and I'm tempted to doze off for a while but I know that I shouldn't. It's "crunch time: in the Collegian office, and everyone is tapping on their laptops like crazy. The sound of the typing mingles with the monotonous buzzing of the airconditioner to seemingly mumble: "hush baby, close your eyes."
Sleep is the greatest flaw of humankind. Half of our lives is wasted on sleep. Imagine how much time that is. Without sleep, we could do twice as much. I wish I could go on working for days on end, without ever batting an eyelash.
The fellow beside me is yawning while squinting at a particularly red draft flashing on his laptop screen. One of the editors is lying on the floor face down, muttering "kill me now, kill me now." Behind me, an irate layout artist is pacing the floor, calming herself while waiting for articles to turn up. Far beyond, in the next room, I could hear someone snoring. A fallen warrior, dead to the world.
Sleep is a temptation. And losers succumb to it easily. Evading sleep is a skill and an art, a combination of proper training and right tricks of the trade. In this fast world where everything is paid by the hour, mastering the art of staying awake is the key to social mobility.
Mankind's civilization will reach its highest point when humans finally eradicate sleep. With people staying awake all the time, more hours may be spent on valuable research or in the creation of the best artworks.
The fellow beside me has also fallen to the trap, head on keyboard. A few moments from now, the few who have remained standing will also fall. I must outlive them. I am efficient. I am the man. I will defeat sleep. It has been three days since the last time I was able to sleep on my own bed. Or sleep at all. I don't sleep - I take naps.
Just a little bit more and I'll outlast them. Poor, unfortunate, inefficient souls.
The morning sun is already showing its might. The letters in my laptop screen are slowly turning in a psychedelic fashion. Hello, Mr. Sandman.
[Published in the Philippine Collegian, September 8, 2011] Labels: #cw, %english, `life
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It's a common patch-up for broken "romantic" relationships. It's just natural for the one left behind to say they'll wait. When you say you'll "wait" for someone, it sounds so noble, so loyal. It's one honest feeling you have right after a break-up. But, seriously, think about it. If a person really loves you, they won't let you wait for them. If they care enough about you, they'll atleast tell you not to wait… They'll tell you to live your life. They'll tell you to go out there and have the fun you deserve. They'll tell you to go date others, go running after your dreams. They won't just let you wait. They won't imply for you to wait. They won't even show the slightest comfort on the idea. And on that note, I'm glad I loved someone who never burdened me with the idea of waiting. When someone says they'll wait for you, don't expect such things. People are not patient by nature. And, honestly now, we dislike waiting*. We hate lines, and taking numbers. We want to be serviced now. We want answers ASAP. We want all the good things RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. But, we never want to handle the bad things ASAP, and that's a different story, I'm going off topic. ANYWAY, back to the topic, we dislike waiting. If you respect the person atleast, don't let them wait. Be a gentleman (or a lady, or a human atleast) and don't make them wait for your sorry ass to be ready for them. Don't stop them from living their life. Don't let them waste their time. Everybody changes. You'll never know if you'll ever be good enough for them. You'll never know if they'll ever find someone better than you. Thus, don't make someone wait for you. And even if they insist, don't expect them to. Anytime you're going on with your life, messing around, thinking it's okay since someone's waiting for you, they might snap out of it and move on. And, besides, if you really want to be good enough for someone, you won't let them "wait". You stay by their side, and bit by bit , be molded into the person the relationship needs. Woo. But, you know, that's just me. :) My blog, my opinion. A/N: *I was planning to say "hate waiting", but then, hate is a strong word. **Did you notice how many "atleast's" there are in this post? LOL. OVERUSED. Labels: #cw, %english, `life
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MARCGELL ADRIAN,
Sorry for the times that I've been maarte. Sorry if naha-hassle ka dahil sakin. Sorry if I'm demanding. Sorry if I ask too much sometimes; sorry for the many times that I am irrational. Sorry for always making you an utusan. Sorry for being impossible. Sorry for bullying you. Sorry for harassing you, and by that I mean, sorry for biting you.
Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for giving me what I ask from you, and more. :) Thank you for the extra effort to make me smile. Thank you for being my personal clown. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for letting me bite you~! You train the inner lion in me. Rawr~! (Okay, no innuendos intended.) Thank you for letting me harass you, for being my human punching bag. Thank you for the hugs and kisses. Thank you for the times you set your pride aside for me. Thank you for the times you'd proudly show the world you have me, that you love me. :))
I really love you. I know how you're conscious about yourself. I want you to be yourself. Change when you're ready to change. Change when you see a good enough reason to change. I'm not pressuring you to be someone ideal. I want you to be who you want to be. And I hope you want to be someone good, atleast. :) And, I love you. I love you for being my stress-reliever. I love you for being my critic. I love you for being my Dad, most of the time. And, I love you for being mine.
Let's keep it that way, shall we? I'll be yours, just be mine. :)
//Bumawi ng buong post dahil hindi ko nabasa agad 'yung iniwan mo sa chatbox ko. :P
Labels: #cw, %taglish, `life, fireworks
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Smile at the right reasons.
I know when I'm doing something wrong. I know when what I'm doing isn't acceptable to someone who's very important to me. And, usually, I ignore that fact, thinking: "I've already started this, I might as well go on."
Why is it so easy to say "don't do bad things" when in reality, it's easier to be bad?
[A/N: And before people speculates I'm having sex or drugs, or joining cults, PLEASE, it's not that. ]
There shouldn't be wrong decisions. It's up to you to make your decisions the right one. And… I'm doubting myself RN. It seems like I can't see enough LOGICAL reasons to keep this, uhm, thing that bugs me, in my life.
I've started caring about it, invested time and effort, and all those clichés. I've already started this journey, I might as well get it over with. Right?
Or is it right? :/ Aren't I doing this for the wrong reasons? I should keep on going because I want to, not because I don't want to give up.
I'm so confused. :|
Labels: #cw, #life, %english, `life
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SOO... I really, really, really wouldn't post this if not for the sake of argument. And, besides, God wants us to dialogue, so, I shall raise my concern.
LOVE. Yes, AGAIN. I keep on talking about it because everyone's just love-crazy. Either they believe it, or they argue there's no such thing. And I'm helping make it a popular topic by doing another post about it. Maybe I should have a love tag.
I think love is the feeling of satisfaction when you make someone happy. You love someone when you get triumphant by making someone happy... Or, atleast, not making someone miserable. I think love is feeling safe when you're together, and growing even more immersed with each other while apart. I think love is learning - learning when to say yes, when to say no; learning what's right, from what's not right; learning to be an individual.
I think love should be voiced out, be exhibited. I don't mean PDA. PLEASE. DO NOT DO YOUR THING WHERE OTHER PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU. I mean, if you really love someone, you should be able to say it. Maybe not directly to that person, atleast to others (not just one) who are very much alive. Saying something, hearing it from your own voice, is admitting. 'Wag kang mahiyang sabihin sa iba na love mo 'yung person na love mo. And I think that's love. You should admit you love someone. You should tell someone. Actually, tell the world. Love is not a crime. I know my God would want me to be vocal and expressive. I know my God loves me, and I love Him. I know He would want me to share what I feel. I know He would want me to know how others feel about me.
If you can't say you love that person, if you're not brave enough to admit it... then maybe it's not love afterall. Just an idea of love, infatuation, maybe. Or it's almost love, or it is love, but since you're not yet brave enough to say it, it's love at a wrong time. A crush, maybe. Something. But it's not love.
[I should come up with a word with this love-like feeling/idea.]
SOOO... Here's the catch: Ang kabit, andyan kasi, hindi satisfied 'yung kinakabitan(?) sa real partner nya. SO, they just want their kinakabitan to be happy. Tapos, sabi nila, okay lang na hindi sila ang number one (well, madalas, okay lang), basta mahal nila 'yung person. 'Yun lang ang mahalaga.
I don't think this should be. ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT I REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE AND WHY THE FUCKING HELL THERE ARE SUCH PEOPLE.
First of all, ARE YOU FUCKING MAD? If you're not satisfied with your relationship, please, FIX IT OR END IT. Don't wait for things to get worse. AND DON'T EVER GET A NUMBER 2. You're not just destroying your Number 1's life, your Number 2's as well. You ruin their reputation and their self esteem. If you want to destroy your own life, don't bring others down with you.
AND TO NUMBER 2's, WHAT THE FUCK. Have you ever heard of "Love yourself, others will love you."? Have some dignity. Don't you respect yourself? Don't give me that "hindi ko hinihinging mahalin mo rin ako" bullshit. LOVE, for me, should be acknowledged. It's either (1)accepted and reciprocated, or, (2)denied. 'Wag kang magtyaga sa hindi ka priority. KASI, kahit bored ka, hindi talaga tama 'yun. Makipag-chever ka sa single, sige. Atleast masasabi mong wala kang kasalanan. Pero sa commited, iba na 'yun. Kahit hindi pa sila kasal, DUDE, a sin is a sin... (Side note, a sin is salt :))) HAHAHA...)
I believe there's someone for everyone. Some people find their perfect match, some people don't. There's someone who'll love you with all their heart and soul. You just have to be patient. You just have to have faith. Maybe the perfect one for you is not the one you imagined, but, I'm sure there's someone. Don't waste your time being with the wrong person. Every hour spent with the wrong person, is an hour less spent looking/waiting for the right person.
But then again, life is pro-choice. You can choose a person to be your perfect one... The question is, do they want to make you the one for them?
Do I even have a point?
Labels: #life, %taglish, `life
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Let me tell you about how I got to be the awesome me I am today. No. Of course, I'm just joking. I'm born awesome.
Let me tell you about things that people keep on asking me about. This is the dawn of another series of posts. And then maybe I should put up a FAQ page.
When did you last cry?
It's such a cliché question. And, well. Almost every single time I have to answer this, it would be last night. If not, it's just now, yesterday, the other day, just this week, last week…
So, let me tell you, I'm a cry baby. I cry about almost everything. I cry when I miss my Mom. I cry when I miss home. I cry when I think of the days that will never be. I cry when I think of the days that could've been. I cry when I think of the happiest moments of my life. I cry when I realize those moments are all a bunch of lies. I cry about things I could've done. I cry about things I can't do. I cry a lot because of people. Even if I try my best not to attach myself to others, I'm weak. I get easily friendly, thus, I get easily disappointed. I get easily broken. I get easily torn to pieces. Thus, I cry a lot.
And then I have this problem of not wanting to share my problems, ASAP. I'm always thinking, "I'll shut my mouth, it'll be okay." But things get worse. And I cry. Things get bigger and uglier. And I cry. I tell someone about it. They get sad, they get involved. And I cry. I turn out giving up. And I cry.
I also cry when I'm super happy.
I cry over movies, novels, music, art... I cry about things that are not really my concern.
That's how it is. I'm a cry baby. Labels: #cw, %english, `life, `me, let me tell you, suicidal
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I have been longing for the Asus Google Nexus 7 2nd Gen for a month now. The fact that it's being pulled out from stores to make way for the HTC Nexus 9 makes it more valuable. I have been looking for the 32GB Nexus 7 around SM North Edsa for two weeks, and I've only seen two stores. It was really frustrating when the day came that I would buy one, and the stores weren't selling them anymore. Still, I chanced upon Gigahertz and miraculously, they have one last stock.
It wasn't a new unit, it was already opened. I was going to point it out but I was too excited to have my hands on it. It was a little disappointing tho that it was starting up really slow and the kuya had to force shut down and restart just to make it work. I was already having second thoughts on buying an opened unit. I tried to check the unit, but the store didn't have internet connection. It wasn't lagging, since there were only the preloaded apps, and no internet to update the operating system. Since it was already late, we just bought it. I told myself to just check it our when I got home.
I updated the OS from 12MN-3AM. I was able to update it to Kitkat 4.4.4 when I started downloading apps like Twitter, Tumblr, KakaoTalk, and so on. It was when I open an app that it suddenly just crashed. I started restarting it, but it was on loop on the Google logo. I did several factory resets but nothing happened. I came to the conclusion that it was a defective unit. I decided to consult online sources, but it being an "old" nexus, it's microsite has been taken down by Google.
So, anyway, I went back to Gigahertz after my 4PM class. I told them I was returning the unit and that I wanted my money back. They asked why, and I explained that the unit was defective. They asked someone to try to fix it first, told me that I can get a new unit in a few hours, if only I could just sit down. So, I did. I patiently waited, but I didn't have a Nexus 7 at the end of the day. Other branches don't have the model I bought. I told them, well then, give me back my money. They said they can't because it still need to be approved. Approved by what? In what case can it be disapproved? Surely, I should get my money back since, well obviously, I wasn't able to get my money's worth. They told me that the policy is first, try to change the unit, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE IT, so, maybe you can buy something else of the same price, BUT I DON'T WANT TO. I am buying an Asus Google Nexus 7, 32GB because it is now being pulled out from the market. I payed for it, and that's what I want. Why are they telling me what to get for my money? So, they told me to calm the shit down and promised that they will call their supplier and promised that I will get my unit within the week.
What has Gigahertz SM North Edsa violated? 1. It is printed on the receipt that there is an outright 7 day return/exchange for defective units. Which can not be according to RA 7394 Consumer Act of the Philippines.
2. It is the choice of the buyer if he/she wants a refund or an exchange. The store can not insist that they exchange the unit. RA 7394.
I am just really disappointed that most stores insist they make money. And I am quite disappointed that because of this, most Filipinos would think they don't have the right to return or exchange defective goods. Nevertheless, I just want my Nexus 7 on Thursday as they promised. And whether or not I get it, I will make sure to file a complaint in DTI. Labels: #life, #manic, #update, %english, `life, `problem, gigahertz, murderous, nexus 7, tatak pinoy, text
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Just a personal update on me. Because I love talking about myself, a flaw I share with every human being born to a modern world.
I have finally shifted into a course and college! I am now taking up Bachelor of Public Administration in the National College of Public Administration and Governance. I honestly applied blindly, not knowing what it is about. But, I'm glad I got in and that I signed with them. B. PA is a pre-law, so, I might actually end up taking law after all. Unfortunately, I am accustomed to reading fiction and writing nonsense; the total opposite of what we do in B PA. My classes are all theoretical this sem, all readings heavy, I might explode in any minute. But, so far, so good, I'm actively participating and enjoying my classes.
I would love to rant about why I did not get into Geology, or Clothing Technology. But the downward spiral of the quality of education in UP might be enough explanation for some colleges desperate moves of "keeping the delinquents out". And I'll leave it at that.
There's really nothing else I can say about myself. I've been planning to talk about DotA but someone else beat me to it, so I just gave up. Haha.
Some sensible posts soon!
♥ Labels: #life, #random, #update, %english, `life, `me
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It was a weird sem, last sem was.
I've heard from most people that it had been their worst sem (so far). It was, too, for me. I was forced to go Non-Maj, it was a billion times harder to get classes, I had a 5:30-7PM WF class, and... well, I could list all the fuck-up's and, yet, it was actually the best sem I've ever had, too.
When I got the Geol 40 class, I was (though, still am) really determined to do good with the sem. I took it as a sign from God, that He is finally giving me what I want and that I have to do my best not to fuck it up. I had lesser missed and late classes. I would actually study earlier than the night before the exam. I read ahead the lectures, most of the times. I read notes, if applicable. I was, in a sense, being a better me. I was, finally, studying.
I guess that's the reason I felt so stressed. Because, though I wasn't hoping for uno's, I was hoping to get better grades... anything is better than what I've had before, anyway.
I did study. I did get better grades. I did dream. Yet, I still failed to get what I want.
There is no such thing as "work hard and you'll get what you want." Life is just luck.
I seem to be unlucky. Labels: #drama, #life, %english, `life, suicidal
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to my hs schoolmate, friend, kapakapatid, Geo
Di ba naging close tayo? Naaalala ko pa kung pano tayo naging close. Kasi, magkapitbahay tayo ng classrooms. Haha. Tapos sinasabihan mo ko na cute, na crush mo ko. Niloloko naman kita na pwede ka na rin, cute na rin, haha. Pero, sabi mo may crush ka talaga... Tinatanong mo pa ko kung paano ba manligaw. Tinatawanan pa kita nun. Sabi ko, bata ka pa, wag ka magmadali. Pero, go ka pa rin. Kasi nga crush na crush mo sya, sabi mo. Eh di, sige, "kung gusto mo talaga."
Naalala ko pa yung tinext mo ko, Sunday 'yun. Sabi mo nag-date kayo. Tas nahalikan mo sya. Tinawanan na naman kita. Sabi ko masyado kang nagmamadali. Pero, sige lang, kasi masaya ka naman. Kaya masaya na rin ako.
Tapos naging kayo na. At alam kong masaya ka talaga.
Paano nga ba tayo natigil magkatext?
Ah. Nung nagkaproblema ako sa sarili kong relationship ata. Blinock out ko rin lahat. At nung okay na ko, di na kita nabalikan.
Pero, hindi naman tayo nag-away. Di rin naman tayo nagkalayuan ng loob. Okay pa rin tayo. Cool pa rin tayo sa isa't isa kahit di na tayo close tulad ng dati.
Naalala ko rin pala, na napagusapan natin noon kung paano kahirap ang buhay.Di ba? Andaming problema. Andaming kailangan gawin. Andaming kailangan ma-achieve. Andaming ganito, ganyan. Pero, di ba, sabi ko sayo masama mag-give up. Ang hindi ko lang nasabi kung bakit masama 'yun.
At nagsisisi ako na hindi kita nasabihan. Sorry, kasi late ko rin narealize kung bakit mali 'yun. Sana pala, nag-share ako agad sayo nung time na nag-reflect ako. Kaso, hindi na rin kasi tayo ganun kaclose. Sorry na hindi natuloy yung closeness natin. Sorry na hindi kita natulungan, na hindi kita nakausap, na hindi ko alam na may pinagdadaanan ka pala.
Gusto kitang pagalitan ngayon. Pero, I also feel so sorry for you. I'm sorry that you felt that it was the only way out for you.
Alam mo, masama yun. Masama mag-give up. Lahat tayo nawalan na ng minamahal sa buhay. Diba, yun ngang grandparents na alam na dapat natin na law of nature, everybody will die someday. Pero, pag may nawala, kahit by old age, ang hirap pa rin tanggapin. Paano pa kaya yung ikaw mismo nagdecide na ayaw mo na? Sobrang hirap para samin. Lahat kami apektado. Lahat kami may pagkukulang sayo. Ang bigat ng loob naming lahat. Andami naming para sayo, andami naming nagmamahal sayo, pero, wala kaming nagawa. Hindi mo man lang kami nakausap, nasabihan na may problema, na nahihirapan ka na.
Sana nanood ka nalang ng anime. Sana naglasing ka nalang. Sana nag-drugs ka nalang. Siguro madali lang makalimutan 'yun. Pero, yung ganto? Yung hindi ka na namin makikita til we reach our own time? Sobrang hirap talaga.
Sadyang totoo nga na yung mga tayong sobrang sayang kasama dahil sobrang masayahin sila ay ang mga taong maraming tinatagong hirap sa buhay.
Geo, I know na there should have been a better world for you. I'm sorry you are no longer here to be in it.
Labels: #drama, #life, %taglish, `friends, `life, sad
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Hi, everyone. It's been three million years since the last post, so, I figured I really need to write something, anything. Sorry about that.
So, first of all, HAPPY 2013! Today is the start of my 25th month with Marcgell. We are defly keeping it tight. Because love.
Speaking of love, I want to talk about my parents. Every morning, when I have a lot of time before doing the things I have to do (like eat breakfast, bathe, go to class...), I think of how lucky I am with my parents. I honestly pray to God and thank him for giving me the parents that I have. If there really is a God, he'll have a list of why I love my parents.
I believe my parents love each other so much. If they ever fight, they don't show us. They have little misunderstandings sometimes, I admit, but never serious. My Dad still kisses my Mom. My Mom still cooks what my Dad wants. They do lambing even if it's gross sometimes, lol. Kidding.
My Dad used to go home every weekend, said he misses us. It's been six or seven years since then, I think. Now he goes home every other weekend, just because my Mom was able to convince to not travel Manila-Vigan-Manila every weekend. My Dad's efforts to be with the family is remarkable. He travels 8-10 hours, one way, just to be with us. My Dad is Superman.
My parents provide for us. We might not have Mac laptops (not like we want them, anyway), or iPad, or iPhones, but, they provide for us. We have our laptops, our mobile phones, our lunch money... They pay for our tuition. They ask us how we are, tell us to do good, remind us that they love us. They give us what we need to survive, to be sane, to be normal kids that we are; and sometimes more just to show off.
I'm not sure if my parents are strict. I think they're quite fun. They let us have our fun. Also, I feel that they trust us. They are just awesome people.
I wish to have a happy family like the one my parents built for us. My parents have the ideal relationship and the best sons and daughters. :) Labels: #update, `life, fireworks
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I'm not sure if I'm mean or kind, naughty or nice. (Santa says you're naughty. HO. HO. HO. Kidding.)
Me: Kuya, dito po ba kukuha ng ticket kung may reservation?
Kuya Guard: Saan po ba kayo papunta?
Me: Aparri po.
Kuya Guard: Dito po.
Me: Kapag hindi po ba sa Aparri, sa iba kukuha?
Kuya Guard: Dito pa rin po.
Me: Eh, bat nyo pa tinanong?
Kanina Dito sa Dorm, iba yung Guard
*just got back sa dorm*
Ate Guard: ID.
*nilabas ko ID ko, smile, alis*
*lumabas after 10 minutes, kasi umihi, tas uminom, at nag-iwan lang ng konting gamit*
*nasa may Zoo Building na ko napansin kong wala yung coin purse ko*
NOTE NA ANG ZOO BUILDING AY NASA TAPAT LANG NG DORM
*bumalik ako ng dorm*
Ate Guard: ID.
*nilabas ko ID ko, tas nagmadaling pumasok*
Ate Guard: *galit na tone* Sana kasi nilalabas na agad yung ID.
Me: Kagagaling ko lang dito, sana, ate, naalala niyo nalang ako.
Labels: #update, %tagalog, `life, murderous
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I do my best to be a good friend and listen to people's concerns. I get so much drama from people's lives, aside from mine, sometimes I don't even want to listen anymore. Problema ko na 'to dati pa, kasi, hindi ako marunong humindi.
I just noticed how diverse this world is. I've listened to so much problems and shit that I've actually mentally categorized them. (petty to suicidal ranking)
1. Boyfriend / Girlfriend issue - "Hindi s'ya nagpaparamdam." "Niloloko niya lang ako." "Sawa na ko."
You're in a relationship to feel special, and to make your life easier and better.
Here's the solution to your fucking stupid problem: Yes or No, answer honestly. With your thinking brain, not your beating heart.
- Do you want to end up with that kind of person?
- Do they constantly and effectively show they care about and love you?
- Will your family and friends like your partner?
- Is your partner honestly the best person to connect and understand you?
If the answers are all yes, just say your apologies and make up. If not, then you're wasting your time, and mine, too.
Mayabang lang din siguro ako, pero, ang problema lang namin kasi ni Marcgell kung kelan kami magkikita at magkakasama ulit. Fighting is too mainstream.
2. I'm failing my class(es).
You're talking to the wrong person. But, me, not being able to talk back unless it's via my blog, I just shut up and listen. I am not doing well myself. K? So, stop reminding me.
3. Hunger Games - "wala akong time kumain" "gutom ako" "wala akong pagkain" "walang pambili ng food"
If I have money, ililibre ko kayo. If I have food, bibigyan ko kayo. Pero kung mas mayaman naman kayo at alam nyong totoo yan, please lang, 'wag paulit-ulit i-mention sakin na gutom kayo kasi wala akong magagawa para tulungan kayo. I know the feeling, too. I complain about this a lot. Ito lang ata ang problemang kayang-kaya kong ipangalandakan sa publika: "gutom ako."
4. Parent issues - "my parents hate me" "my parents hate each other"
My parents being great, I sometimes feel awkward and uncertain on how to react to this problem. Ano ba dapat kong sabihin, eh, 'yung sitwasyong ito, I'm not familiar with? So, sorry if I don't help much.
What I know is, your parents are the reasons why you came to life. Be thankful to them, even if you get BV all the time. If it wasn't for them, you wouldn't be able to taste ice cream, or buy clothes&shoes, or meet classmates, or go to school.
From my ever BFF roommate Chan, "choice na nila 'yun. Kung gusto nilang mag-away, basta sila lang." At kung ayaw ka rin nila, di, keri lang din. Ano magagawa nila, wish you were never born? Oh? Tapos? Ngayon pa, andyan ka na. 'Di nag-condom kasi sana sila. Just live your life, and don't hold any grudges against your parents.
5. No Cash
Number 1 problem ko rin 'to. Kapag legit na walang pera 'yung nagrereklamo sakin, sobrang supportive ako. Pero, kapag alam kong 'yung "walang pera" ng friend ko is actually "have cash" pa para sakin, chaka lang ako. Kebs ko sayo, mayaman ka lang kasi. Tas ipangsa-Starbucks mo lang? Wag ka dito magreklamo, kutongan pa kita, eh.
Maybe it's because I'm the type that talks to my blog, and keep my problems between me and whoever's involve kaya minsan, hindi ko maseryoso 'yung mga problema ng iba. Or, maybe it's because I know other people have far worse problems than their boyfriend not replying, their grade hanging by the thread... Kids of our age in other parts of the world are already working, some never had a chance to go to school, some never met their family, some are already parents...
Life is not limited to boyfriend, school, money, parents. Life is not about the things you've accomplished, but the struggles you had to overcome to make these accomplishments. Labels: #list, %taglish, `life, `school, random
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I am Lor, batch head of 11D, now Lady Herald of Theta Epsilon Sorority. I may be a part of the baby batch, but I am an active member. As much as possible, I finish everything I have to do to be able to help with Sorority work.
Theta Epsilon, even from the very start, seems so perfect for me. It's really hard to explain things that should be kept low profile. So, as of now, just take my word for it. This sisterhood is perfect for me. :)
Helping other people is never easy. We have to plan it, put it to paper, look for money / sponsors, put it to paper, and finally execute the plan. We are but students, too. We are busy with acads, family matters, friends. Still, we make everything work. We were able to have the blood letting activity and the outreach program.
Being in a sorority has its advantages. First of, it gets in your resume. Second, you get to experience the wealth of the alumni. No kidding. And, well, of course, the undeniable good memories made with the brods and sisses. :) Memories of working together, simple chit-chats, and going through drama together.
Sis Inah, my high school senior, thank you for inviting me into this exclusive circle. Congratulations for being the Lady Keeper of the Whip.
Mommy Cams, then LKW, thank you for convincing me to join. Thank you for telling me to never give up. Thank you for telling me to always follow my heart. :) I love you still.
Bossang Cherry, kahit ilang ulit n'yo akong sinindak para lang maibigay 'yung gusto mong iparating - show your worth - Thank you. My loyalty is forever yours.
Lia, my batchmate, now Lady Keeper of the Scroll, my partner in crime (forever and ever), I love you. :) Sums it all.
My other batchmates, Mai, Van, Amery, Chel, and Ienne, sisses, let's all give back to the sorority. :) Let's work together. Let's make more lives easier, let's spread more laughter. :) I love you~!
HAPPY 38th YEARS, UP THETA EPSILON SORORITY!
Truth and Enlightenment through service to all.
P.S.
Thank you, aTheng Connie, founder, for the jacket~! :)
caricature by Maj Rosario (color via PS, me)Labels: #life, #update, %english, `life, fireworks
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Madalas akong tanungin ni Marcgell, " 'di ka ba naniniwala?"
'Di raw ba ako naniniwala na mahal nya ako? Or, na ako lang? Or this, or that? Hindi ko diretsong masagot ang tanong na ito. Iba kasi kapag trust at faith 'yung issue.
Una sa lahat, hindi naman talaga ako 'yung tipo ng tao na mahilig mag-trust sa iba. In all honesty, kay Marcgell lang 'ata ako naging honest ng tuloy-tuloy... 'Yun nung hindi pa kami. Totoo, may times na nag-lie ako kina Mea, Irah, Ivana, Reyna, Toffer, Paula, Nica, Vil, Pajas, Arden, Andrew... Pero kay Marcgell, wala akong maisip na time na I lied. I might have, siguro about something stupid and irrelevant with life. It's ironic, actually, knowing that he's a blabbermouth.
And, well, nung nagawa n'ya ngang isabay ako sa ibang babae n'ya, nawala lahat ng trust ko sakanya. 'Yung tipong, "there's a lie in there, somewhere," every single time he tells me something. He exaggerates things, over-reacts, and well, he's selfish, too. Lying to him is like breathing. I should just nod and say okay. That's how my mind worked during those times.
IDK how I got past that stage. Maybe, just maybe, it's love. LOL. Ang cheesy, shit! Shoot me now! :)))
It's faith. Faith in this relationship. I want to believe that this is it. Anong sense ng relationship kapag iisipin mong, "maghihiwalay rin lang kami."? Di ba? (At, 'yun nga, may natutunan naman pala ako kay Vil. Yey~!) I want to believe that, even if we failed to start this right, we'll have to end this right: together at the altar.
It's faith. Faith in him. I want to believe him when he tells me he loves me. I want to believe that we really will make everything okay. I want to believe that all this shit, every little drama, is just me over-reacting. I want to hear every "I love you" and chills will run down my spine. I want to read every "I love you" and a brand new smile will find my face. I want to feel every hug and every kiss, and know that he really loves me.
I don't like you lying to me. I don't want you to pretend. So, please, tell me everything. I know, it takes time, but I'll trust you completely again someday. For someone who rushed into a relationship, who am I to demand time, right? WRONG. I get what I want, and that's time. Time for you to spoil me more... SELFISH? Haha. :))
Also... Maybe I have my guards up too high for a girl who's demands keep coming in... But, you know, all the hassle is worth it, right?
Labels: #life, %taglish, `life, `me
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Andami kong gustong i-blog.
This weekend, as in Saturday and Sunday, lang siguro ang matinong rest day, ulet, for a very long time.
BUT, I'm not complaining for the lack of time to do nothing. I love having something to do. Since, ayoko ng dull moments with just myself.
Anyway, like I said, andami kong gustong i-post. I want to talk about Mommy Cams, Ninang Kim, Rock Infinitum 3, Marcgell, Christmas, my Lola Lily, Marcgell, my batchmates, and some other stuff... like acads. 'Cause I have that, too. :|
Anyway, I really missed Mommy Cams. It's been two months, and, well... Ayokong masanay na wala sya. I'm so glad na nag-attend sya ng Rock Infinitum 3. Tho, hindi kami nakapag-kwentuhan, ang saya ko pa rin na nakita ko sya, busy, hyper. Buti na rin at dumating sya, since may nag-entertain ng alumni. (Totally forgot about that. :O Oops.)
Saludo ako kay Ninang Kim. Hindi ko sya piniling maging ninang, at wala lang talaga akong choice noon, na, parang binigay talaga sya ni God para maging ninang ko. x) Hala. OA na. Anyway, maganda grades n'ya, may social life siya, at ang sexy nya talaga. x___x Someday, I'll be like her. HAHAHAHA.
Hindi ko na naman pinag-iisipan mga sinasabi ko dito...
Jejemon. Labels: #update, %taglish, `life, `school
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They say we miss the past because we're not quite happy of the present, or we don't see a promising future.
I have been going back to the past lately. And by lately, I mean every time I get the chance since midterms last sem. I'm trying to look for the exact time that I lose track of what I really want in life.
Right now, I'm going with the flow. Acads' fine, social life's fine... But, then what?
I know there was a time I was so sure of what I want in life. I had it all figured out, mapped, planned. All I had to do is tick off every goal I finish. But, I'm not getting anywhere. My heart is not happy with what I'm doing. I don't feel that this is what I want to do.
I don't want to be a Physicist anymore. I like Physics. I love the thrill, the chase, the challenge. But. I'm too scared, I'm fragile. I can only be rejected once. I just... can't... anymore.
Actually, I'm too scared for anything and everything right now. I don't have the confidence to be an Engineer, either. I don't know what I want to be. I don't think I want to be this way: Studying Sciences and Maths, and shit. Why? Why this? Did I srsly wanted this to be my life? I want to go back in time and slap myself. Why?
My heart does not belong here. But, what can I do? I can't back down now, can I? I'll just mindlessly go with this shit of a "future" I planned. I was so naive, believing I'd get to love the things the world wanted me to love. Labels: #cw, #life, %english, `life, `me, `school
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There are things I can't seem to learn: Patience and Trust.
People mistake my lack of creativity of giving up and letting go as patience. There have been a lot of times that I just want to say "it's enough", but I can't think of a way to express it. Hindi ko maisip kung paano ko sasabihing, ayoko na. Then there are times that I make up my mind, I'm sure I want to end something, other things come up and won't let me to. 'Yun bang tipong, hindi ka pala pwedeng mag-give up. Kasi 'yun ang sabi ng society , or ng religion , or ng parents mo, or ng friends mo... And so I pretend to enjoy whatever's there. Then it becomes a "part" of normal life. I just ignore it.
Trust. I don't trust people completely. There's always a part on me that says, "baka gaguhin ka rin n'yan." Still, I'm the type of person that gives everything 'til I'm sure it's wrong to do so.
I started doubting when I told the truth and was accused of lying. It might have happened several times, but, one too many cases. It escalated when I lied and got away with it. Why is everybody trying to complicate everything?
The rain makes me think too much.
Labels: #life, %taglish, `life, `me, suicidal
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You only have 24 hours left in you life, how would you spend your last hours?
I can't wake up one day and find a note on my night stand saying: "You have 24 hours left. Enjoy!" I have lots of plans for my life. I have places I want to go to, people I want to meet. One day is not enough for me to satisfy my thirst for adventure and power.
But if I do wake up and find a note on my night stand saying I have 24 hours left to live this life, I'd make sure I have enough Taurine and Caffeine. It's show time.
I'd spend my first hour telling everyone that it's my last day on Earth. This comes with, "give me money or I'll die poor" line. I'd slap in the face those I hate, and I'll just smile at those I love. No time for chit chat. DO NOT TALK TO ME. Talk to me when I'm dead and I have the time to listen.
Since there's not enough time to travel around the world, and I'm sure there's not enough cash, either… I'll just go to places near and convenient. I want to be alone.
No, wait… SCRATCH THAT.
I'll look for SEUNG RI, OR TOMA, OR KEITO, and rape them. There goes my last 23 hours on Earth.
"Why would it matter, I'm gonna die anyway."
[scheduled post] Labels: #cw, %english, `fandom, `life
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The question I got is from Niki: If you were to repeat a specific part in your life, what would it be?
Every time I have exams, I ask myself: Why am I here? Why did I enter this university? I could have stayed in the province, study in the local university and be one of the smartest, and I'd be doing what I want to do, what other people should be doing right now…
But, I'm not saying I don't want to be here in UP. After exams, "yes, I did it." But, just before I enter a classroom, I always want to go back to time I was sure of what I really want.
If I could go back to a specific part of my life, that would be when I choose to enter UP. I want to go back to when I chose to be in these classrooms, with different people from different places. I want to go back to when I looked forward to being here with you guys, suffering together.
I want to go back to when I didn't have all of these (yet). Sometimes, it's nice to go back to the time where everything is just a dream.
We had less than two minutes to prepare, so I was a little, uhm, unorganized. We had another two minutes to deliver, so I kinda messed up a bit. Labels: #cw, %english, `life, `me, `school
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By Delfin Mercado It is morning once again. The night has come and gone in a whirlwind f blurred colors and hushed voices. The stale half of a jelly-filled donut lies on top of a bundle of envelopes and paper. Crushed coffee cups, cigarette butts and empty fastfood cartons litter the floor.
On every available bench and chair, someone is trying to catch a few minutes of sleep. The effect of that last cup of coffee I drank a few hours ago is already wearing off. My eyelids are drooping and I'm tempted to doze off for a while but I know that I shouldn't. It's "crunch time: in the Collegian office, and everyone is tapping on their laptops like crazy. The sound of the typing mingles with the monotonous buzzing of the airconditioner to seemingly mumble: "hush baby, close your eyes."
Sleep is the greatest flaw of humankind. Half of our lives is wasted on sleep. Imagine how much time that is. Without sleep, we could do twice as much. I wish I could go on working for days on end, without ever batting an eyelash.
The fellow beside me is yawning while squinting at a particularly red draft flashing on his laptop screen. One of the editors is lying on the floor face down, muttering "kill me now, kill me now." Behind me, an irate layout artist is pacing the floor, calming herself while waiting for articles to turn up. Far beyond, in the next room, I could hear someone snoring. A fallen warrior, dead to the world.
Sleep is a temptation. And losers succumb to it easily. Evading sleep is a skill and an art, a combination of proper training and right tricks of the trade. In this fast world where everything is paid by the hour, mastering the art of staying awake is the key to social mobility.
Mankind's civilization will reach its highest point when humans finally eradicate sleep. With people staying awake all the time, more hours may be spent on valuable research or in the creation of the best artworks.
The fellow beside me has also fallen to the trap, head on keyboard. A few moments from now, the few who have remained standing will also fall. I must outlive them. I am efficient. I am the man. I will defeat sleep. It has been three days since the last time I was able to sleep on my own bed. Or sleep at all. I don't sleep - I take naps.
Just a little bit more and I'll outlast them. Poor, unfortunate, inefficient souls.
The morning sun is already showing its might. The letters in my laptop screen are slowly turning in a psychedelic fashion. Hello, Mr. Sandman.
[Published in the Philippine Collegian, September 8, 2011] Labels: #cw, %english, `life
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It's a common patch-up for broken "romantic" relationships. It's just natural for the one left behind to say they'll wait. When you say you'll "wait" for someone, it sounds so noble, so loyal. It's one honest feeling you have right after a break-up. But, seriously, think about it. If a person really loves you, they won't let you wait for them. If they care enough about you, they'll atleast tell you not to wait… They'll tell you to live your life. They'll tell you to go out there and have the fun you deserve. They'll tell you to go date others, go running after your dreams. They won't just let you wait. They won't imply for you to wait. They won't even show the slightest comfort on the idea. And on that note, I'm glad I loved someone who never burdened me with the idea of waiting. When someone says they'll wait for you, don't expect such things. People are not patient by nature. And, honestly now, we dislike waiting*. We hate lines, and taking numbers. We want to be serviced now. We want answers ASAP. We want all the good things RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. But, we never want to handle the bad things ASAP, and that's a different story, I'm going off topic. ANYWAY, back to the topic, we dislike waiting. If you respect the person atleast, don't let them wait. Be a gentleman (or a lady, or a human atleast) and don't make them wait for your sorry ass to be ready for them. Don't stop them from living their life. Don't let them waste their time. Everybody changes. You'll never know if you'll ever be good enough for them. You'll never know if they'll ever find someone better than you. Thus, don't make someone wait for you. And even if they insist, don't expect them to. Anytime you're going on with your life, messing around, thinking it's okay since someone's waiting for you, they might snap out of it and move on. And, besides, if you really want to be good enough for someone, you won't let them "wait". You stay by their side, and bit by bit , be molded into the person the relationship needs. Woo. But, you know, that's just me. :) My blog, my opinion. A/N: *I was planning to say "hate waiting", but then, hate is a strong word. **Did you notice how many "atleast's" there are in this post? LOL. OVERUSED. Labels: #cw, %english, `life
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MARCGELL ADRIAN,
Sorry for the times that I've been maarte. Sorry if naha-hassle ka dahil sakin. Sorry if I'm demanding. Sorry if I ask too much sometimes; sorry for the many times that I am irrational. Sorry for always making you an utusan. Sorry for being impossible. Sorry for bullying you. Sorry for harassing you, and by that I mean, sorry for biting you.
Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for giving me what I ask from you, and more. :) Thank you for the extra effort to make me smile. Thank you for being my personal clown. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for letting me bite you~! You train the inner lion in me. Rawr~! (Okay, no innuendos intended.) Thank you for letting me harass you, for being my human punching bag. Thank you for the hugs and kisses. Thank you for the times you set your pride aside for me. Thank you for the times you'd proudly show the world you have me, that you love me. :))
I really love you. I know how you're conscious about yourself. I want you to be yourself. Change when you're ready to change. Change when you see a good enough reason to change. I'm not pressuring you to be someone ideal. I want you to be who you want to be. And I hope you want to be someone good, atleast. :) And, I love you. I love you for being my stress-reliever. I love you for being my critic. I love you for being my Dad, most of the time. And, I love you for being mine.
Let's keep it that way, shall we? I'll be yours, just be mine. :)
//Bumawi ng buong post dahil hindi ko nabasa agad 'yung iniwan mo sa chatbox ko. :P
Labels: #cw, %taglish, `life, fireworks
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Smile at the right reasons.
I know when I'm doing something wrong. I know when what I'm doing isn't acceptable to someone who's very important to me. And, usually, I ignore that fact, thinking: "I've already started this, I might as well go on."
Why is it so easy to say "don't do bad things" when in reality, it's easier to be bad?
[A/N: And before people speculates I'm having sex or drugs, or joining cults, PLEASE, it's not that. ]
There shouldn't be wrong decisions. It's up to you to make your decisions the right one. And… I'm doubting myself RN. It seems like I can't see enough LOGICAL reasons to keep this, uhm, thing that bugs me, in my life.
I've started caring about it, invested time and effort, and all those clichés. I've already started this journey, I might as well get it over with. Right?
Or is it right? :/ Aren't I doing this for the wrong reasons? I should keep on going because I want to, not because I don't want to give up.
I'm so confused. :|
Labels: #cw, #life, %english, `life
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SOO... I really, really, really wouldn't post this if not for the sake of argument. And, besides, God wants us to dialogue, so, I shall raise my concern.
LOVE. Yes, AGAIN. I keep on talking about it because everyone's just love-crazy. Either they believe it, or they argue there's no such thing. And I'm helping make it a popular topic by doing another post about it. Maybe I should have a love tag.
I think love is the feeling of satisfaction when you make someone happy. You love someone when you get triumphant by making someone happy... Or, atleast, not making someone miserable. I think love is feeling safe when you're together, and growing even more immersed with each other while apart. I think love is learning - learning when to say yes, when to say no; learning what's right, from what's not right; learning to be an individual.
I think love should be voiced out, be exhibited. I don't mean PDA. PLEASE. DO NOT DO YOUR THING WHERE OTHER PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU. I mean, if you really love someone, you should be able to say it. Maybe not directly to that person, atleast to others (not just one) who are very much alive. Saying something, hearing it from your own voice, is admitting. 'Wag kang mahiyang sabihin sa iba na love mo 'yung person na love mo. And I think that's love. You should admit you love someone. You should tell someone. Actually, tell the world. Love is not a crime. I know my God would want me to be vocal and expressive. I know my God loves me, and I love Him. I know He would want me to share what I feel. I know He would want me to know how others feel about me.
If you can't say you love that person, if you're not brave enough to admit it... then maybe it's not love afterall. Just an idea of love, infatuation, maybe. Or it's almost love, or it is love, but since you're not yet brave enough to say it, it's love at a wrong time. A crush, maybe. Something. But it's not love.
[I should come up with a word with this love-like feeling/idea.]
SOOO... Here's the catch: Ang kabit, andyan kasi, hindi satisfied 'yung kinakabitan(?) sa real partner nya. SO, they just want their kinakabitan to be happy. Tapos, sabi nila, okay lang na hindi sila ang number one (well, madalas, okay lang), basta mahal nila 'yung person. 'Yun lang ang mahalaga.
I don't think this should be. ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT I REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE AND WHY THE FUCKING HELL THERE ARE SUCH PEOPLE.
First of all, ARE YOU FUCKING MAD? If you're not satisfied with your relationship, please, FIX IT OR END IT. Don't wait for things to get worse. AND DON'T EVER GET A NUMBER 2. You're not just destroying your Number 1's life, your Number 2's as well. You ruin their reputation and their self esteem. If you want to destroy your own life, don't bring others down with you.
AND TO NUMBER 2's, WHAT THE FUCK. Have you ever heard of "Love yourself, others will love you."? Have some dignity. Don't you respect yourself? Don't give me that "hindi ko hinihinging mahalin mo rin ako" bullshit. LOVE, for me, should be acknowledged. It's either (1)accepted and reciprocated, or, (2)denied. 'Wag kang magtyaga sa hindi ka priority. KASI, kahit bored ka, hindi talaga tama 'yun. Makipag-chever ka sa single, sige. Atleast masasabi mong wala kang kasalanan. Pero sa commited, iba na 'yun. Kahit hindi pa sila kasal, DUDE, a sin is a sin... (Side note, a sin is salt :))) HAHAHA...)
I believe there's someone for everyone. Some people find their perfect match, some people don't. There's someone who'll love you with all their heart and soul. You just have to be patient. You just have to have faith. Maybe the perfect one for you is not the one you imagined, but, I'm sure there's someone. Don't waste your time being with the wrong person. Every hour spent with the wrong person, is an hour less spent looking/waiting for the right person.
But then again, life is pro-choice. You can choose a person to be your perfect one... The question is, do they want to make you the one for them?
Do I even have a point?
Labels: #life, %taglish, `life
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Let me tell you about how I got to be the awesome me I am today. No. Of course, I'm just joking. I'm born awesome.
Let me tell you about things that people keep on asking me about. This is the dawn of another series of posts. And then maybe I should put up a FAQ page.
When did you last cry?
It's such a cliché question. And, well. Almost every single time I have to answer this, it would be last night. If not, it's just now, yesterday, the other day, just this week, last week…
So, let me tell you, I'm a cry baby. I cry about almost everything. I cry when I miss my Mom. I cry when I miss home. I cry when I think of the days that will never be. I cry when I think of the days that could've been. I cry when I think of the happiest moments of my life. I cry when I realize those moments are all a bunch of lies. I cry about things I could've done. I cry about things I can't do. I cry a lot because of people. Even if I try my best not to attach myself to others, I'm weak. I get easily friendly, thus, I get easily disappointed. I get easily broken. I get easily torn to pieces. Thus, I cry a lot.
And then I have this problem of not wanting to share my problems, ASAP. I'm always thinking, "I'll shut my mouth, it'll be okay." But things get worse. And I cry. Things get bigger and uglier. And I cry. I tell someone about it. They get sad, they get involved. And I cry. I turn out giving up. And I cry.
I also cry when I'm super happy.
I cry over movies, novels, music, art... I cry about things that are not really my concern.
That's how it is. I'm a cry baby. Labels: #cw, %english, `life, `me, let me tell you, suicidal
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tagboard soon
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The cat loves to purr, and meow, and hiss. She's a very noisy cat, obviously. Kitty loves to sleep, next to her love for food. Food she loves include pizza, pasta, crepes, pancakes, cakes, milktea,burgers, etc. She loves being worshipped. Bow down to me!!! She loves cuddles, unless we're not close, eew don't touch me freak.
This kitty is in-love with a non-reacting bunny. He's always acting cool, and fails at it. He is crazy and loves computers.
This is still pretty much under construction; hence the emptiness.
Adopted Trees.
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