It was a weird sem, last sem was.
I've heard from most people that it had been their worst sem (so far). It was, too, for me. I was forced to go Non-Maj, it was a billion times harder to get classes, I had a 5:30-7PM WF class, and... well, I could list all the fuck-up's and, yet, it was actually the best sem I've ever had, too.
When I got the Geol 40 class, I was (though, still am) really determined to do good with the sem. I took it as a sign from God, that He is finally giving me what I want and that I have to do my best not to fuck it up. I had lesser missed and late classes. I would actually study earlier than the night before the exam. I read ahead the lectures, most of the times. I read notes, if applicable. I was, in a sense, being a better me. I was, finally, studying.
I guess that's the reason I felt so stressed. Because, though I wasn't hoping for uno's, I was hoping to get better grades... anything is better than what I've had before, anyway.
I did study. I did get better grades. I did dream. Yet, I still failed to get what I want.
There is no such thing as "work hard and you'll get what you want." Life is just luck.
I seem to be unlucky. Labels: #drama, #life, %english, `life, suicidal
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to my hs schoolmate, friend, kapakapatid, Geo
Di ba naging close tayo? Naaalala ko pa kung pano tayo naging close. Kasi, magkapitbahay tayo ng classrooms. Haha. Tapos sinasabihan mo ko na cute, na crush mo ko. Niloloko naman kita na pwede ka na rin, cute na rin, haha. Pero, sabi mo may crush ka talaga... Tinatanong mo pa ko kung paano ba manligaw. Tinatawanan pa kita nun. Sabi ko, bata ka pa, wag ka magmadali. Pero, go ka pa rin. Kasi nga crush na crush mo sya, sabi mo. Eh di, sige, "kung gusto mo talaga."
Naalala ko pa yung tinext mo ko, Sunday 'yun. Sabi mo nag-date kayo. Tas nahalikan mo sya. Tinawanan na naman kita. Sabi ko masyado kang nagmamadali. Pero, sige lang, kasi masaya ka naman. Kaya masaya na rin ako.
Tapos naging kayo na. At alam kong masaya ka talaga.
Paano nga ba tayo natigil magkatext?
Ah. Nung nagkaproblema ako sa sarili kong relationship ata. Blinock out ko rin lahat. At nung okay na ko, di na kita nabalikan.
Pero, hindi naman tayo nag-away. Di rin naman tayo nagkalayuan ng loob. Okay pa rin tayo. Cool pa rin tayo sa isa't isa kahit di na tayo close tulad ng dati.
Naalala ko rin pala, na napagusapan natin noon kung paano kahirap ang buhay.Di ba? Andaming problema. Andaming kailangan gawin. Andaming kailangan ma-achieve. Andaming ganito, ganyan. Pero, di ba, sabi ko sayo masama mag-give up. Ang hindi ko lang nasabi kung bakit masama 'yun.
At nagsisisi ako na hindi kita nasabihan. Sorry, kasi late ko rin narealize kung bakit mali 'yun. Sana pala, nag-share ako agad sayo nung time na nag-reflect ako. Kaso, hindi na rin kasi tayo ganun kaclose. Sorry na hindi natuloy yung closeness natin. Sorry na hindi kita natulungan, na hindi kita nakausap, na hindi ko alam na may pinagdadaanan ka pala.
Gusto kitang pagalitan ngayon. Pero, I also feel so sorry for you. I'm sorry that you felt that it was the only way out for you.
Alam mo, masama yun. Masama mag-give up. Lahat tayo nawalan na ng minamahal sa buhay. Diba, yun ngang grandparents na alam na dapat natin na law of nature, everybody will die someday. Pero, pag may nawala, kahit by old age, ang hirap pa rin tanggapin. Paano pa kaya yung ikaw mismo nagdecide na ayaw mo na? Sobrang hirap para samin. Lahat kami apektado. Lahat kami may pagkukulang sayo. Ang bigat ng loob naming lahat. Andami naming para sayo, andami naming nagmamahal sayo, pero, wala kaming nagawa. Hindi mo man lang kami nakausap, nasabihan na may problema, na nahihirapan ka na.
Sana nanood ka nalang ng anime. Sana naglasing ka nalang. Sana nag-drugs ka nalang. Siguro madali lang makalimutan 'yun. Pero, yung ganto? Yung hindi ka na namin makikita til we reach our own time? Sobrang hirap talaga.
Sadyang totoo nga na yung mga tayong sobrang sayang kasama dahil sobrang masayahin sila ay ang mga taong maraming tinatagong hirap sa buhay.
Geo, I know na there should have been a better world for you. I'm sorry you are no longer here to be in it.
Labels: #drama, #life, %taglish, `friends, `life, sad
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'Yung nagcoconflict 'yung gusto kong ma-achieve sa gusto kong gawin. Gusto kong pumasa, ayokong mag-aral. LOL
INTO IT: ONE MORE CHANCE
Tatlong beses ko ng napanood ang One More Chance pero ngayon ko lang siya naintindihan. Kasi, dati ang iniisip ko: Putang ina. Bakit naman sila nag-break kung mahal nila ang isa't-isa. Ano bang problema ni Basha? Buti nga concerned na concerned sa kaniya si Popoy. Grabe lang, 'di nalang niya pinagbigyan si Basha para 'di nalang sila naghiwalay? Putang ina naman. Bakit siya nakipag-relasyon kung mahal niya talaga si Basha? Tapos, itong si Basha, makikipag-break tapos iiyak-iyak noong nakapag-move on na si Popoy. Putang ina, ang tanga ng movie na 'to.
Pero, hindi pala.
Iniwan ni Basha si Popoy kasi hindi niya alam kung 'yung ginagawa niya ay dahil gusto n'ya, or dahil alam niya na gusto ni Popoy, or dahil 'yun nga mismo ang sabi ni Popoy. Gusto niyang malaman kung ano ba talaga ang gusto niya sa buhay. Choice niyang malaman kung 'yun ba 'yung gusto niyang future, 'yung kasama si Popoy, or nasanay lang siya dahil sa katagal-tagal na five years din silang magkasama. She was brave enough na ipusta 'yung five years na 'yun para lang malaman 'yung gusto niya.
Si Popoy, hindi agad-agad nakapag-move on, kasi hindi niya naintindihan 'yung reason ni Basha. Ang alam niya lang, sawa na siya, nasasakal na sya. Ang boring niya naman kasi talagang boyfriend, controlling pa. Akala niya kasi 'yung ginagawa niya ay para rin sa ikabubuti nilang dalawa, 'yung lahat planado, practical, at logical.
Nag-snap nalang si Popoy noong dinala ni Basha si Mark. Naisip niyang 'yun na 'yung time mag-move on. Wala namang nangyayari talaga sa pagiging malungkot niya lang. 'Yun bang, kung siya magmo-move on, eh di, ikaw rin. Sa totoo lang, mas maraming taong ganon, makikipag-unahang makahanap ng bago. Competitive kasi talaga by nature ang tao.
Naniniwala ako na minahal niya si Trysha (oh, di ko alam spelling. hahaha). Kasi si Popoy, naisip niya na 'yung type ng person na kailangan niya is 'yung type of person na ginusto niya maging si Basya. Example, 'yung wanting to be spoiled ni Trysha na ayaw naman ni Basya. Tapos, syempre, nag-change in to the person Basha wanted him to be rin sya at the same time. Ganun 'ata talaga after a break up. If you truly loved your ex, maiisip mo 'yung mga dahilan bat kayo naghiwalay, at ia-avoid mo na 'yun. Ia-avoid mo 'yun para di ka na masaktan, at di ka na makasakit.
Ang masama lang, nag-assume si Basha. Dahil alam niyang mahal na mahal siya ni Popoy, akala niya, 'di ito magmo-move on. Eh di, naguho mundo niya nung nalaman niyang may bagong girlfriend na si ex boyfriend. Tsaka niya na-realize kung ano talaga 'yung gusto niya sa buhay. Gusto niya lahat ng meron siya at that moment, plus si Popoy.
Sabi nga ni Crissy (idk the spelling, lol), nangyari 'yun kasi si Basha lang 'yung nag-acknowledge ng problema nila. At nasaktan silang pareho. Pero ang naisip lang kasi ni Popoy, 'yung sarili niya, na nasasaktan siya. Hindi niya naisip agad na, baka nasasaktan din si Basha.
At ayun. Nag-sex sila, tapos okay na. De, joke lang. Nag-heart-to-heart talk naman sila after.
Ang galing.
Note lang, bakit si Basya naka-high-heeled shoes, nasa site. Tangina. Baka mahulog siya!!! Okay na rin na hindi ako naging Engineer. Baka matulad ako sakanya, less poise nga lang, Labels: #drama, #manic, %taglish, `films, `problem, into it
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It's so awkward meeting an ex-boyfriend's girlfriend. Whether you say you have moved on, you'll still ask yourself, "why her?"
I am close to my ex boyfriends, Chino and Kevin. I love them. They are great guys that have been such a big part of my life. I am close to them because I realized that I need them to be just friends, rather than the probable "other half".
Anyway, Chino's girlfriend after me was a girl named Nicole. She was my classmate from prep, haha. I thought, wow, why her? She's a slut. She looks like a slut. She acts like a slut. Did he, like, change preferences? Gross. They broke up after a few months. Thankfully.
Next was Eighteen. Honestly, I liked her. She is pretty, she had great taste in music, very artistic, very cute, very smart... But, I didn't like her because I felt like she was so much like me (okay, feelingera). It just feels wrong to me that he is dating someone who was so much like me. But, she's quite prettier, and way richer than me. I'm not sure if they're still together, tho.
Kevin had a few number of short time girlfriends after me. He felt that he needed to take revenge on the whole population of females because I broke his heart blah blah. But, after some time, he snapped out of it and we finally resolved our issue. And we became friends. When I was in Pisay, even if I didn't post it on FB or Twitter, even if I don't text him, he would contact me at the right times, when I couldn't talk to anybody else. He'd suddenly text, "Sana okay ka lang, kumusta ka na?" Or, "Umiinom ka sana ng gamot, sana hindi na sumasakit 'yung tiyan mo." He's such a sweet guy.
When he found his recent girlfriend, my first thoughts were, "engk. Bland. Blank. Ordinary." But he loved her so much, so I gave her a chance. After a few years, my dislike grew because she's such a bitch, had poor manners, was illogical. But, what she had that I didn't have was dedication. She wanted to stay with him. She was so in-love to the point of driving him away from the rest of the world. He broke up with her. Good decision, too.
Why do I look at my exes' girlfriends and evaluate them?
1. I want to know what those girls have that I didn't have. Most of the time it's patience. I had the fun, and the care, but not the understanding.
2. I care about them. If they were to have girlfriends, they should have the best. Better than me in everything. And, poor them, there's no such girl better than me. Haha.
The point of this post is: My latest ex-boyfriend is now committed and I can't get over the fact that I don't like her, and that she is nothing like me. I guess that's what he wants, nothing like me.
Labels: #cw, #drama, %english, `friends, `love life, `problem
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Once in a while, or maybe most of the time, you'll argue about something simple, complicated, or just plain nonsense. These are the times when you feel helpless and just want to slap the person involved halfway to Mars. These are the times when your feelings reach the peak of your patience and just start spitting harsh words after another. These are the times when you just want to stop time and just stare at the sky and hope that everything will go well. However, the essence of arguments is to fix a problem. It is actually more of a positive experience, rather than a negative one. Arguments give hope and chance, it means you haven't given up on something. It depicts a better future if accepted positively by everyone.
Lately, there have been difficulties. There have been misunderstandings. There have been assumptions. But the truth is, I was just stubborn. I was just thinking too highly of myself. I am very proud of my awareness and sensitivity in this matter, and most of the time, I make the right decisions. I am blinded by my mindset. Today's experience has shown me all these. That I was wrong all along. Although I feel bad about committing such a disgusting mistake, I am also relieved and glad about it. It made me happy, actually: Happier than usual. And it unexpectedly brightened up my day... and for the rest of my days.
I was wrong and I finally admit it. I finally recognized it as my mistake. These long history of arguments and useless fights are now behind me, behind us. These feeling is so beautiful. I feel like I am shining. I feel like I can light up a dark room. It is all because of yesterday and today, and most importantly, because of a certain cat.
Don't get me wrong, I hate it when I am wrong.I resent it. But, this time around, it made me a better person. Labels: #drama, #manic, %english
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I am scared of what can happen, what will happen. The future is but the consequences of what we do today. And, so, I am even more disheartened. If I fail, I can only blame myself. If my heart is broken, I can only blame myself. If I die regretting, I can only blame myself.
I keep stalling. Maybe it will be better. Maybe I don't need to decide. Maybe it'll present itself to me, somehow, someday.
I keep doubting myself. I can't do more than this. I'd fail even if I try. I'd fall just by walking.
I don't know how to take this negativity off of me. All I can do is pretend it's never there.
But, when the lights are off, and pjs are on, they come out of my bed and haunt me.
I don't want a broken heart. Labels: #cw, #drama, #random, %english, `friends, `love life, `problem, `school
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[AN: This entry has been sitting in my drafts for such a long time. I think it's about time to post it.]
I have always been enthusiastic about my sorority. I have actively participated in the activities, and practiced the ideals the sorority goes by.
Truth and Enlightenment through service to all.
People will always think of PARTYING, DRINKING, HAZING, when the words fraternity or sorority are talked about. I confess, before being a part of a sorority, I always thought people in frats and sors are dangerous, irresponsible, and tactless.
I owe my being a lady to Inah. She was the one to invite me. When she asked me if I wanted to join, I was skeptical. I told her I didn't have time for any trouble. And she said, "ipapahamak ba naman kita?" Inah, being my senior from high school, and knowing her as a responsible student, a role mode, I believed her.
I was oriented that same day. Everything Mommy Cams, MemComm head then, kept me holding on. The services they do for the people were amazing: an adopted school, an annual blood drive, and more. What I was doubting was their application process: NO 3Ps. No Pera, No Public humiliation, No Paddle. I was then also an applicant at UP Rep, an org, who violated aspects of my life, but I pretended not to care, and... I just snapped. I am not joining an org who can not respect me as an applicant. I chose to join Theta Epsilon instead.
I also promised to join that same day. In a span of an hour, a whole new life opened up in-front of me.
I am proud of my sorority. We share a bond that's beyond being friends. The respect among the members, the openness, the love... The people I have to be with are great. Everyone is smart and witty, and they share their knowledge. I am proud of all my sisters. They are not just girls in dresses and high-heeled shoes. They are respectable women, with pretty faces and beautiful hearts.
I love Theta Epsilon Sorority! :) Labels: #drama, %english, `friends, `me, `school, happy, text
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It was a weird sem, last sem was.
I've heard from most people that it had been their worst sem (so far). It was, too, for me. I was forced to go Non-Maj, it was a billion times harder to get classes, I had a 5:30-7PM WF class, and... well, I could list all the fuck-up's and, yet, it was actually the best sem I've ever had, too.
When I got the Geol 40 class, I was (though, still am) really determined to do good with the sem. I took it as a sign from God, that He is finally giving me what I want and that I have to do my best not to fuck it up. I had lesser missed and late classes. I would actually study earlier than the night before the exam. I read ahead the lectures, most of the times. I read notes, if applicable. I was, in a sense, being a better me. I was, finally, studying.
I guess that's the reason I felt so stressed. Because, though I wasn't hoping for uno's, I was hoping to get better grades... anything is better than what I've had before, anyway.
I did study. I did get better grades. I did dream. Yet, I still failed to get what I want.
There is no such thing as "work hard and you'll get what you want." Life is just luck.
I seem to be unlucky. Labels: #drama, #life, %english, `life, suicidal
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to my hs schoolmate, friend, kapakapatid, Geo
Di ba naging close tayo? Naaalala ko pa kung pano tayo naging close. Kasi, magkapitbahay tayo ng classrooms. Haha. Tapos sinasabihan mo ko na cute, na crush mo ko. Niloloko naman kita na pwede ka na rin, cute na rin, haha. Pero, sabi mo may crush ka talaga... Tinatanong mo pa ko kung paano ba manligaw. Tinatawanan pa kita nun. Sabi ko, bata ka pa, wag ka magmadali. Pero, go ka pa rin. Kasi nga crush na crush mo sya, sabi mo. Eh di, sige, "kung gusto mo talaga."
Naalala ko pa yung tinext mo ko, Sunday 'yun. Sabi mo nag-date kayo. Tas nahalikan mo sya. Tinawanan na naman kita. Sabi ko masyado kang nagmamadali. Pero, sige lang, kasi masaya ka naman. Kaya masaya na rin ako.
Tapos naging kayo na. At alam kong masaya ka talaga.
Paano nga ba tayo natigil magkatext?
Ah. Nung nagkaproblema ako sa sarili kong relationship ata. Blinock out ko rin lahat. At nung okay na ko, di na kita nabalikan.
Pero, hindi naman tayo nag-away. Di rin naman tayo nagkalayuan ng loob. Okay pa rin tayo. Cool pa rin tayo sa isa't isa kahit di na tayo close tulad ng dati.
Naalala ko rin pala, na napagusapan natin noon kung paano kahirap ang buhay.Di ba? Andaming problema. Andaming kailangan gawin. Andaming kailangan ma-achieve. Andaming ganito, ganyan. Pero, di ba, sabi ko sayo masama mag-give up. Ang hindi ko lang nasabi kung bakit masama 'yun.
At nagsisisi ako na hindi kita nasabihan. Sorry, kasi late ko rin narealize kung bakit mali 'yun. Sana pala, nag-share ako agad sayo nung time na nag-reflect ako. Kaso, hindi na rin kasi tayo ganun kaclose. Sorry na hindi natuloy yung closeness natin. Sorry na hindi kita natulungan, na hindi kita nakausap, na hindi ko alam na may pinagdadaanan ka pala.
Gusto kitang pagalitan ngayon. Pero, I also feel so sorry for you. I'm sorry that you felt that it was the only way out for you.
Alam mo, masama yun. Masama mag-give up. Lahat tayo nawalan na ng minamahal sa buhay. Diba, yun ngang grandparents na alam na dapat natin na law of nature, everybody will die someday. Pero, pag may nawala, kahit by old age, ang hirap pa rin tanggapin. Paano pa kaya yung ikaw mismo nagdecide na ayaw mo na? Sobrang hirap para samin. Lahat kami apektado. Lahat kami may pagkukulang sayo. Ang bigat ng loob naming lahat. Andami naming para sayo, andami naming nagmamahal sayo, pero, wala kaming nagawa. Hindi mo man lang kami nakausap, nasabihan na may problema, na nahihirapan ka na.
Sana nanood ka nalang ng anime. Sana naglasing ka nalang. Sana nag-drugs ka nalang. Siguro madali lang makalimutan 'yun. Pero, yung ganto? Yung hindi ka na namin makikita til we reach our own time? Sobrang hirap talaga.
Sadyang totoo nga na yung mga tayong sobrang sayang kasama dahil sobrang masayahin sila ay ang mga taong maraming tinatagong hirap sa buhay.
Geo, I know na there should have been a better world for you. I'm sorry you are no longer here to be in it.
Labels: #drama, #life, %taglish, `friends, `life, sad
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'Yung nagcoconflict 'yung gusto kong ma-achieve sa gusto kong gawin. Gusto kong pumasa, ayokong mag-aral. LOL
INTO IT: ONE MORE CHANCE
Tatlong beses ko ng napanood ang One More Chance pero ngayon ko lang siya naintindihan. Kasi, dati ang iniisip ko: Putang ina. Bakit naman sila nag-break kung mahal nila ang isa't-isa. Ano bang problema ni Basha? Buti nga concerned na concerned sa kaniya si Popoy. Grabe lang, 'di nalang niya pinagbigyan si Basha para 'di nalang sila naghiwalay? Putang ina naman. Bakit siya nakipag-relasyon kung mahal niya talaga si Basha? Tapos, itong si Basha, makikipag-break tapos iiyak-iyak noong nakapag-move on na si Popoy. Putang ina, ang tanga ng movie na 'to.
Pero, hindi pala.
Iniwan ni Basha si Popoy kasi hindi niya alam kung 'yung ginagawa niya ay dahil gusto n'ya, or dahil alam niya na gusto ni Popoy, or dahil 'yun nga mismo ang sabi ni Popoy. Gusto niyang malaman kung ano ba talaga ang gusto niya sa buhay. Choice niyang malaman kung 'yun ba 'yung gusto niyang future, 'yung kasama si Popoy, or nasanay lang siya dahil sa katagal-tagal na five years din silang magkasama. She was brave enough na ipusta 'yung five years na 'yun para lang malaman 'yung gusto niya.
Si Popoy, hindi agad-agad nakapag-move on, kasi hindi niya naintindihan 'yung reason ni Basha. Ang alam niya lang, sawa na siya, nasasakal na sya. Ang boring niya naman kasi talagang boyfriend, controlling pa. Akala niya kasi 'yung ginagawa niya ay para rin sa ikabubuti nilang dalawa, 'yung lahat planado, practical, at logical.
Nag-snap nalang si Popoy noong dinala ni Basha si Mark. Naisip niyang 'yun na 'yung time mag-move on. Wala namang nangyayari talaga sa pagiging malungkot niya lang. 'Yun bang, kung siya magmo-move on, eh di, ikaw rin. Sa totoo lang, mas maraming taong ganon, makikipag-unahang makahanap ng bago. Competitive kasi talaga by nature ang tao.
Naniniwala ako na minahal niya si Trysha (oh, di ko alam spelling. hahaha). Kasi si Popoy, naisip niya na 'yung type ng person na kailangan niya is 'yung type of person na ginusto niya maging si Basya. Example, 'yung wanting to be spoiled ni Trysha na ayaw naman ni Basya. Tapos, syempre, nag-change in to the person Basha wanted him to be rin sya at the same time. Ganun 'ata talaga after a break up. If you truly loved your ex, maiisip mo 'yung mga dahilan bat kayo naghiwalay, at ia-avoid mo na 'yun. Ia-avoid mo 'yun para di ka na masaktan, at di ka na makasakit.
Ang masama lang, nag-assume si Basha. Dahil alam niyang mahal na mahal siya ni Popoy, akala niya, 'di ito magmo-move on. Eh di, naguho mundo niya nung nalaman niyang may bagong girlfriend na si ex boyfriend. Tsaka niya na-realize kung ano talaga 'yung gusto niya sa buhay. Gusto niya lahat ng meron siya at that moment, plus si Popoy.
Sabi nga ni Crissy (idk the spelling, lol), nangyari 'yun kasi si Basha lang 'yung nag-acknowledge ng problema nila. At nasaktan silang pareho. Pero ang naisip lang kasi ni Popoy, 'yung sarili niya, na nasasaktan siya. Hindi niya naisip agad na, baka nasasaktan din si Basha.
At ayun. Nag-sex sila, tapos okay na. De, joke lang. Nag-heart-to-heart talk naman sila after.
Ang galing.
Note lang, bakit si Basya naka-high-heeled shoes, nasa site. Tangina. Baka mahulog siya!!! Okay na rin na hindi ako naging Engineer. Baka matulad ako sakanya, less poise nga lang, Labels: #drama, #manic, %taglish, `films, `problem, into it
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It's so awkward meeting an ex-boyfriend's girlfriend. Whether you say you have moved on, you'll still ask yourself, "why her?"
I am close to my ex boyfriends, Chino and Kevin. I love them. They are great guys that have been such a big part of my life. I am close to them because I realized that I need them to be just friends, rather than the probable "other half".
Anyway, Chino's girlfriend after me was a girl named Nicole. She was my classmate from prep, haha. I thought, wow, why her? She's a slut. She looks like a slut. She acts like a slut. Did he, like, change preferences? Gross. They broke up after a few months. Thankfully.
Next was Eighteen. Honestly, I liked her. She is pretty, she had great taste in music, very artistic, very cute, very smart... But, I didn't like her because I felt like she was so much like me (okay, feelingera). It just feels wrong to me that he is dating someone who was so much like me. But, she's quite prettier, and way richer than me. I'm not sure if they're still together, tho.
Kevin had a few number of short time girlfriends after me. He felt that he needed to take revenge on the whole population of females because I broke his heart blah blah. But, after some time, he snapped out of it and we finally resolved our issue. And we became friends. When I was in Pisay, even if I didn't post it on FB or Twitter, even if I don't text him, he would contact me at the right times, when I couldn't talk to anybody else. He'd suddenly text, "Sana okay ka lang, kumusta ka na?" Or, "Umiinom ka sana ng gamot, sana hindi na sumasakit 'yung tiyan mo." He's such a sweet guy.
When he found his recent girlfriend, my first thoughts were, "engk. Bland. Blank. Ordinary." But he loved her so much, so I gave her a chance. After a few years, my dislike grew because she's such a bitch, had poor manners, was illogical. But, what she had that I didn't have was dedication. She wanted to stay with him. She was so in-love to the point of driving him away from the rest of the world. He broke up with her. Good decision, too.
Why do I look at my exes' girlfriends and evaluate them?
1. I want to know what those girls have that I didn't have. Most of the time it's patience. I had the fun, and the care, but not the understanding.
2. I care about them. If they were to have girlfriends, they should have the best. Better than me in everything. And, poor them, there's no such girl better than me. Haha.
The point of this post is: My latest ex-boyfriend is now committed and I can't get over the fact that I don't like her, and that she is nothing like me. I guess that's what he wants, nothing like me.
Labels: #cw, #drama, %english, `friends, `love life, `problem
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Once in a while, or maybe most of the time, you'll argue about something simple, complicated, or just plain nonsense. These are the times when you feel helpless and just want to slap the person involved halfway to Mars. These are the times when your feelings reach the peak of your patience and just start spitting harsh words after another. These are the times when you just want to stop time and just stare at the sky and hope that everything will go well. However, the essence of arguments is to fix a problem. It is actually more of a positive experience, rather than a negative one. Arguments give hope and chance, it means you haven't given up on something. It depicts a better future if accepted positively by everyone.
Lately, there have been difficulties. There have been misunderstandings. There have been assumptions. But the truth is, I was just stubborn. I was just thinking too highly of myself. I am very proud of my awareness and sensitivity in this matter, and most of the time, I make the right decisions. I am blinded by my mindset. Today's experience has shown me all these. That I was wrong all along. Although I feel bad about committing such a disgusting mistake, I am also relieved and glad about it. It made me happy, actually: Happier than usual. And it unexpectedly brightened up my day... and for the rest of my days.
I was wrong and I finally admit it. I finally recognized it as my mistake. These long history of arguments and useless fights are now behind me, behind us. These feeling is so beautiful. I feel like I am shining. I feel like I can light up a dark room. It is all because of yesterday and today, and most importantly, because of a certain cat.
Don't get me wrong, I hate it when I am wrong.I resent it. But, this time around, it made me a better person. Labels: #drama, #manic, %english
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I am scared of what can happen, what will happen. The future is but the consequences of what we do today. And, so, I am even more disheartened. If I fail, I can only blame myself. If my heart is broken, I can only blame myself. If I die regretting, I can only blame myself.
I keep stalling. Maybe it will be better. Maybe I don't need to decide. Maybe it'll present itself to me, somehow, someday.
I keep doubting myself. I can't do more than this. I'd fail even if I try. I'd fall just by walking.
I don't know how to take this negativity off of me. All I can do is pretend it's never there.
But, when the lights are off, and pjs are on, they come out of my bed and haunt me.
I don't want a broken heart. Labels: #cw, #drama, #random, %english, `friends, `love life, `problem, `school
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[AN: This entry has been sitting in my drafts for such a long time. I think it's about time to post it.]
I have always been enthusiastic about my sorority. I have actively participated in the activities, and practiced the ideals the sorority goes by.
Truth and Enlightenment through service to all.
People will always think of PARTYING, DRINKING, HAZING, when the words fraternity or sorority are talked about. I confess, before being a part of a sorority, I always thought people in frats and sors are dangerous, irresponsible, and tactless.
I owe my being a lady to Inah. She was the one to invite me. When she asked me if I wanted to join, I was skeptical. I told her I didn't have time for any trouble. And she said, "ipapahamak ba naman kita?" Inah, being my senior from high school, and knowing her as a responsible student, a role mode, I believed her.
I was oriented that same day. Everything Mommy Cams, MemComm head then, kept me holding on. The services they do for the people were amazing: an adopted school, an annual blood drive, and more. What I was doubting was their application process: NO 3Ps. No Pera, No Public humiliation, No Paddle. I was then also an applicant at UP Rep, an org, who violated aspects of my life, but I pretended not to care, and... I just snapped. I am not joining an org who can not respect me as an applicant. I chose to join Theta Epsilon instead.
I also promised to join that same day. In a span of an hour, a whole new life opened up in-front of me.
I am proud of my sorority. We share a bond that's beyond being friends. The respect among the members, the openness, the love... The people I have to be with are great. Everyone is smart and witty, and they share their knowledge. I am proud of all my sisters. They are not just girls in dresses and high-heeled shoes. They are respectable women, with pretty faces and beautiful hearts.
I love Theta Epsilon Sorority! :) Labels: #drama, %english, `friends, `me, `school, happy, text
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tagboard soon
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The cat loves to purr, and meow, and hiss. She's a very noisy cat, obviously. Kitty loves to sleep, next to her love for food. Food she loves include pizza, pasta, crepes, pancakes, cakes, milktea,burgers, etc. She loves being worshipped. Bow down to me!!! She loves cuddles, unless we're not close, eew don't touch me freak.
This kitty is in-love with a non-reacting bunny. He's always acting cool, and fails at it. He is crazy and loves computers.
This is still pretty much under construction; hence the emptiness.
Adopted Trees.
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