I told mysef that I won't cry. Because (1) my eyes might fall off from over-crying, (2) there's not much reason to cry except the fact that I'm still not okay with Vil. Still, I cried. Because (1) I'm actually going to miss a lot of people, (2) I'm not satisfied, (3) I'm disappointed with mysef, (4) I'm still not okay with Vil.
So, anyway, message pala... I'm not good with this, so, sorry in advance.
to eMeMeX in general: Sorry for my flaws, sorry for the things that I wasn't able to do for you. Sorry for being annoying and loud (blame Marcgell and Reyna for they are my inspirations, LOL). Sorry for being lazy, for passing late requirements, and for not passing some requirements at all.
Pisay-IRC's Batch 2010, thank you for accepting me into the family. I know you were at some point hesitant, but in the end, I'm here. Thank you for the fun times. Thank you for the things I've learned from you. Thank you for the times that you're not talking behind my back. Thank you for every moment, may it be good or not good.
Congratulations! For being able to endure sleepless nights, pimples, Math, Physics, Canteen food, heat strokes, 5-minute breaks, surprise quizzes, and Ma'am Jo. For getting over the pressure of the expectations from PISAY (ie. Ma'am Mitch and ma'am Rona). Congratulations for making great memories together and being a great part of everybody's life.
to UP-D people: See you soon! :) Hope we will all help each other out.
to Ateneo people: Daanan niyo nalang kami. :))
to UP-M people: Be safe! Boys, take care of Reyna. Reyna, don't be a bitch. Haha.
to UP-LB and UP-B people: See you in Pisay, sembreak. :P
to Mea&Marcgell, Paula&Jeannine, Jannae, Irah: Thank you for building me.
to Lancha Kristoffer, Elisa, Ivana, Reyna: Thank you for fixing me.
to Ashley Pajas and Ashley Vidad: You don't think alike, but you both helped me a lot, and polished hundreds of decisions I've made. Thank you.
to Paul: Thanks for the fireworks. Too bad I wasn't able to "use" it.
to all the teachers: Thank you for being patient, for sharing more than you're paid for (haha).
to Sir Renan: Thank you for giving me a push... Now I can't stop going forward. :)
to Mommy G: Thank you for listening to my problems, however weird they may be. G-Club forever. xD
to Ma'am Annellene: I love you! Thank you! 'Di ko maexplain. :)
hmmn...
to Serville James: Thank you for everything you've done for me. Thank you for putting up with me for the last two years... ybir lbh.
Ang haba na ng post na 'to. End. Labels: #cw, #list, %english, `school
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I feel like I'm the most miserable and pathetic person on Earth.
I'm really sorry, Serville James.
>This is not the end of the world. -Reyna == Good for you. Apparently, it is the end of MY world. You won't say "It's not the end of the world," if your guy/girl breaks up with you saying "we're through... sorry." You just won't. I feel like there's no reason to be alive.
>This is not the right time and place to cry. -Vidad == Then when and where is "right"? Sorry, but, you can not tell me not to cry when I feel like crying. I already lost my Shark Boy, don't take away my freedom of expression, too! I'll bawl and scream when I want to!
>Your world doesn't revolve around him. -Paul == Duh, Paul. Can't you see it does?
>Move on. == I can't. Not when I know it is MY fault. I will not give up on him. He's mad at me (and I don't blame him), the reason he's not talking to me. I'm still hoping that he'll give me a chance to talk, and maybe (hopefully), fix us. Until he tells me, face to face, that he doesn't want to do anything with me, that he no longer loves me, I WILL NEVER GIVE UP AND MOVE ON.
>Keep yourself alive./'Wag kang magpapakamatay. -number of friends == I will keep myself alive.
Serville James, I love you. I'm really sorry for what I've done wrong, what I didn't do right. Please, don't give up on us now. :'(
Ivana, Toffer... LAHAT KAYONG TUMUTULONG SAKIN... Sorry for being miserable in front of you. Sorry for spoiling the fun. Sorry for troubling you all the time. Sorry that I give you more than you need to think of. I love you all so much. I will keep myself alive, don't worry. Afterall, I need to return the favor someday.
Labels: #list, %english, `ehem, suicidal
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Retreat was like a food trip. Nakakabusog - spiritually, emotionally, literally. xD
I am not an accident. God has chosen me even before I was conceived. He created me to play an important role on earth. :))
I am beautiful. I am unique, like everybody else. Haha. But, seriously, I may not be as good a dancer as Serville James, but I know someone out there idolizes me for what I can do. What can I do? I can eat every two hours, I can walk (though sometimes I trip on my own), I can talk (though sometimes senseless), I can sing (my alphabet, lol), I can dance (I Miss You Soulja Boy, Ryan Higa~), I can sleep early OR late (well, depends if I'm tired or what), and I know how and when to take a bath (hello, Marcgell! :D ).
We ate so much. I'm back to my normal size. Wow. O.o All it takes for me to gain back weight is attend the retreat.
10 days before Grad: Don't be sad that it's (almost) over, be glad that it happened.
[update: March 20, 2010] ♥ Danish Baker is awesome! ♥ I got closer to a lot of people, esp. Aissa~! :D ♥ Watched Alice in Wonderland with Romeo and Reyna ♥ Reyna and I were low on budget but we still wanted to shop. LOL, tumambay kami sa may sale. Haha. ♥ Met Arden Tate, and his parents. :D Nilibre nila ako sa Happy Tummy! Maraming thanks! ♥ Akala ko uuwi akong mag-isa, but I met 4G sa CSI, so uuwi na dapat with them. 'Yun pala, 'yung mga nang-iwan nauuna na, andun pa rin, nag-aabang. Nang-arkila nalang kami. Haha.
Labels: #list, #update, %taglish, `life, fireworks
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Instead of being such a bitch and posting negative entries, I will do my best to pretend everything's okay be positive.
It's already been 6 days (yes, that long, that's a day short to being a week!) since I turned seventeen, and nothing seems to have changed. I'm still cool, and I don't look old. I've always been mistaken for a freshie, or a sophie. I don't believe it's just because of my height. I know I look really young and cute (and innocent?). That's why I got offended when this stranger asked me, "are you a third year student?" LOL, go figure.
Anyway, moving on, I've been addicted to Ryan Higa (Nigahiga@youtube). Thank you, Elisa ii for giving me this sickness, darn you! (sarcastic? Hmmn... you'll never know.)
Last Saturday, I got into convincing Kristoffer to watch his first Pinoy Drama/Romantic Movie - Miss You Like Crazy (link). I AM REALLY, really, really, sorry for that. I never knew it was so, uhm, unsatisfying. I don't hate the movie. I just don't like it. Bitin, at kulang.
After watching the movie with The Girls and Pink House Buddies, our family went to La Mirada, and their family went home. Sad that I wasn't able to spend more time with Vil. A sadder note, La Mirada sucks.
Had a slumber party with Ivana and Reyna. Come on, three's a crowd! We got really addicted to tarot cards, LOL. Also, we watched this freaking movie, Orphan (link), it freaked us out. We will not tolerate a child with A.D.H.D. (Sorry, Ryan Higa), but we might over a kid with Character Disorder, it's no contest. We're paranoid from all we've done.
Remember M is for Magic by Neil Gaiman? IT IS NOT A CHILDREN'S BOOK!
I will go to the retreat, it's an excuse a chance to be with friends and see Arden Tate. :P
That is all. :)) Labels: #update, %english, `fandom, `life
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This should be the first time that I don't have a list of what I want on a special day. Well, it's not called a list if you write one specific thing down, right?
I had the bestest best day of my life! :D ♣Got a bouquet from Vil. Violet flowers. ♥ ♣Got this cool heart shaped thingy sa white board, thanks to Ia~! She seriously knows I love talong the colors green and violet. ♣Ate lunch at Cafe Uno with Pajas and Paul. ♣Got a cake from Vil, Mea, Franco, Leah, Mtin, J9, Paula, Vids (tama ba pagkasunod-sunod? haha. ) ♣Got this singing card from Franco (and Mea)! Ang cute~! ♣Got a cross earring from Vil. ('yung isa, nakanya. Haha.) ♣Got Simply Tarot thingy from Vil. xD ♣Got... ♥ ♣Got a ring and butterfly loop earrings from Mom.
Happy 17th~! :D 19 days before Grad.
[credits to Vil. LOL.] Labels: #list, %english, `ehem, `life
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I just want to give myself some credit, for having my life going. :D
[updated] 'Cause for some reasons, everything's going crazy. Right when we're about to graduate. Tsktsk...
-------- Months ago, I was half-heartedly aiming at things that looked good. If I can't have that one thing I really wanted, I should atleast have everything else. I used to think that way. And I'm glad it's over.
If you can't see I'm happy, you probably haven't seen happy yet. Haha. Everything just seems so good. You know that feeling, like you're in-control, like life's on your team? Well, that's how I feel right now.
Days ago, there's this person who probably got jealous, and I don't blame him. LOL. He tried making me think of bad stuff, the "real" side. I'd give details but, I just can't think of a good enough reason why I should. Anyway, when it didn't work, he raked history and brought up a hideous past. I was troubled and desperate. I know I can't explain myself, but we both know it didn't go that way.
Dude, you're low. I'm sorry you think I won, but I never wanted to play games with you. I'm sorry that you're not trying to be happy! Don't bring others down just so you'd look good. Dust yourself, and I'll give you a push but you need to keep walking. Be a man.
-------- The world won't stop to wait for you. This is something I learned during my stay in PISAY.
You failed, you tripped. So? We won't fail and trip just so you'll feel less stupid. We will hold your hand, so you wont fail and trip on your own. But don't be so dependent. We have lives, too. Sometime, and for us it's just 21 days away, we will have to start a new chapter of our lives, and maybe, live separately. You'll meet new people, and maybe, get along with them. If there are things you want, keep in mind that there are things they might want as well. Also, we're all different. However smooth your friendship will be, you might not see things the way they see it. Be considerate, don't be such a brat. How old are you again?
Before claiming that WE, who've fucking helped you in everything and you lovingly tagged along in your miseries, are cheating you in some way, look at yourself. Did you always do what you said you'd do for us? Did you never suggested you go ahead? It might look like we're singling you out, but, why should we? We're equals! And you thinking that we singled you out only shows you don't see us as your equals. You want you and yourself on top priority, always.
When you say sorry, please, admit that you're wrong. What the hell is the point of saying "sorry" if you don't mean it? Sorry, let's be friends again. And then what? Don't insult me.
Don't expect me to be all nice to you after what happened. Guess what, you just made me realize how annoying you've been for the last, uhm, four months. Actually, you've been annoying the first time we met. Our first conversation, you apologized. I never knew you talked bad about me, but I just brushed it off. Can you see where it brought us? Back where we started.
-------- Be happy! :D Labels: #cw, %english, `death
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[edit]
Feb 26 - Prom :: Bought shoes hours before the Prom. Haha. :: MC-ing isn't my thing, I think... :: Somehow, all went well. :D :: First and last dance: Serville James. Of course. :) ♥ :: I'm surprised that I was asked to dance... in every song played. :D :: Juniors I'll never forget: Sablay, Marnel, Raj... and Joni. Haha. :: wasn't my dream Prom, but, equally awesome. :))
Mar 1-4 Periodical Exams :: I don't expect much. :: Proud of the girls, esp. Elisa, for having the PE periodicals postponed. Haha.
Mar 5 8th Foundation Day :: Dora the explorer. xD (inside joke, sorry) :: Motorcade - almost died! Kim Chan kasi! X.x --- yung side ng truck, natanggal yung lock, muntik na kaming nahulog, katabi ko pa siya! :: Ememex did really great with the dance! They're the BEST! :)) We all know that. :: Ang gwapo ni Vil! :D *proud* :: Magaling din naman yung band, Untouchables Unleashed. LOL. xD :: Ang gwapo ni Fed... Me: kapag gabi... Aissa: kapag nakatalikod. :: Ang ganda raw ng black theatre namin. :D *proud* :: The night ended with mixed emotions. Happy tears~! (haha, hindi ako umiyak :P yey~)
23 days before Graduation... 4 days before 17th year... Labels: #life, #list, #update, %taglish, `school
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I told mysef that I won't cry. Because (1) my eyes might fall off from over-crying, (2) there's not much reason to cry except the fact that I'm still not okay with Vil. Still, I cried. Because (1) I'm actually going to miss a lot of people, (2) I'm not satisfied, (3) I'm disappointed with mysef, (4) I'm still not okay with Vil.
So, anyway, message pala... I'm not good with this, so, sorry in advance.
to eMeMeX in general: Sorry for my flaws, sorry for the things that I wasn't able to do for you. Sorry for being annoying and loud (blame Marcgell and Reyna for they are my inspirations, LOL). Sorry for being lazy, for passing late requirements, and for not passing some requirements at all.
Pisay-IRC's Batch 2010, thank you for accepting me into the family. I know you were at some point hesitant, but in the end, I'm here. Thank you for the fun times. Thank you for the things I've learned from you. Thank you for the times that you're not talking behind my back. Thank you for every moment, may it be good or not good.
Congratulations! For being able to endure sleepless nights, pimples, Math, Physics, Canteen food, heat strokes, 5-minute breaks, surprise quizzes, and Ma'am Jo. For getting over the pressure of the expectations from PISAY (ie. Ma'am Mitch and ma'am Rona). Congratulations for making great memories together and being a great part of everybody's life.
to UP-D people: See you soon! :) Hope we will all help each other out.
to Ateneo people: Daanan niyo nalang kami. :))
to UP-M people: Be safe! Boys, take care of Reyna. Reyna, don't be a bitch. Haha.
to UP-LB and UP-B people: See you in Pisay, sembreak. :P
to Mea&Marcgell, Paula&Jeannine, Jannae, Irah: Thank you for building me.
to Lancha Kristoffer, Elisa, Ivana, Reyna: Thank you for fixing me.
to Ashley Pajas and Ashley Vidad: You don't think alike, but you both helped me a lot, and polished hundreds of decisions I've made. Thank you.
to Paul: Thanks for the fireworks. Too bad I wasn't able to "use" it.
to all the teachers: Thank you for being patient, for sharing more than you're paid for (haha).
to Sir Renan: Thank you for giving me a push... Now I can't stop going forward. :)
to Mommy G: Thank you for listening to my problems, however weird they may be. G-Club forever. xD
to Ma'am Annellene: I love you! Thank you! 'Di ko maexplain. :)
hmmn...
to Serville James: Thank you for everything you've done for me. Thank you for putting up with me for the last two years... ybir lbh.
Ang haba na ng post na 'to. End. Labels: #cw, #list, %english, `school
|
I feel like I'm the most miserable and pathetic person on Earth.
I'm really sorry, Serville James.
>This is not the end of the world. -Reyna == Good for you. Apparently, it is the end of MY world. You won't say "It's not the end of the world," if your guy/girl breaks up with you saying "we're through... sorry." You just won't. I feel like there's no reason to be alive.
>This is not the right time and place to cry. -Vidad == Then when and where is "right"? Sorry, but, you can not tell me not to cry when I feel like crying. I already lost my Shark Boy, don't take away my freedom of expression, too! I'll bawl and scream when I want to!
>Your world doesn't revolve around him. -Paul == Duh, Paul. Can't you see it does?
>Move on. == I can't. Not when I know it is MY fault. I will not give up on him. He's mad at me (and I don't blame him), the reason he's not talking to me. I'm still hoping that he'll give me a chance to talk, and maybe (hopefully), fix us. Until he tells me, face to face, that he doesn't want to do anything with me, that he no longer loves me, I WILL NEVER GIVE UP AND MOVE ON.
>Keep yourself alive./'Wag kang magpapakamatay. -number of friends == I will keep myself alive.
Serville James, I love you. I'm really sorry for what I've done wrong, what I didn't do right. Please, don't give up on us now. :'(
Ivana, Toffer... LAHAT KAYONG TUMUTULONG SAKIN... Sorry for being miserable in front of you. Sorry for spoiling the fun. Sorry for troubling you all the time. Sorry that I give you more than you need to think of. I love you all so much. I will keep myself alive, don't worry. Afterall, I need to return the favor someday.
Labels: #list, %english, `ehem, suicidal
|
Retreat was like a food trip. Nakakabusog - spiritually, emotionally, literally. xD
I am not an accident. God has chosen me even before I was conceived. He created me to play an important role on earth. :))
I am beautiful. I am unique, like everybody else. Haha. But, seriously, I may not be as good a dancer as Serville James, but I know someone out there idolizes me for what I can do. What can I do? I can eat every two hours, I can walk (though sometimes I trip on my own), I can talk (though sometimes senseless), I can sing (my alphabet, lol), I can dance (I Miss You Soulja Boy, Ryan Higa~), I can sleep early OR late (well, depends if I'm tired or what), and I know how and when to take a bath (hello, Marcgell! :D ).
We ate so much. I'm back to my normal size. Wow. O.o All it takes for me to gain back weight is attend the retreat.
10 days before Grad: Don't be sad that it's (almost) over, be glad that it happened.
[update: March 20, 2010] ♥ Danish Baker is awesome! ♥ I got closer to a lot of people, esp. Aissa~! :D ♥ Watched Alice in Wonderland with Romeo and Reyna ♥ Reyna and I were low on budget but we still wanted to shop. LOL, tumambay kami sa may sale. Haha. ♥ Met Arden Tate, and his parents. :D Nilibre nila ako sa Happy Tummy! Maraming thanks! ♥ Akala ko uuwi akong mag-isa, but I met 4G sa CSI, so uuwi na dapat with them. 'Yun pala, 'yung mga nang-iwan nauuna na, andun pa rin, nag-aabang. Nang-arkila nalang kami. Haha.
Labels: #list, #update, %taglish, `life, fireworks
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Instead of being such a bitch and posting negative entries, I will do my best to pretend everything's okay be positive.
It's already been 6 days (yes, that long, that's a day short to being a week!) since I turned seventeen, and nothing seems to have changed. I'm still cool, and I don't look old. I've always been mistaken for a freshie, or a sophie. I don't believe it's just because of my height. I know I look really young and cute (and innocent?). That's why I got offended when this stranger asked me, "are you a third year student?" LOL, go figure.
Anyway, moving on, I've been addicted to Ryan Higa (Nigahiga@youtube). Thank you, Elisa ii for giving me this sickness, darn you! (sarcastic? Hmmn... you'll never know.)
Last Saturday, I got into convincing Kristoffer to watch his first Pinoy Drama/Romantic Movie - Miss You Like Crazy (link). I AM REALLY, really, really, sorry for that. I never knew it was so, uhm, unsatisfying. I don't hate the movie. I just don't like it. Bitin, at kulang.
After watching the movie with The Girls and Pink House Buddies, our family went to La Mirada, and their family went home. Sad that I wasn't able to spend more time with Vil. A sadder note, La Mirada sucks.
Had a slumber party with Ivana and Reyna. Come on, three's a crowd! We got really addicted to tarot cards, LOL. Also, we watched this freaking movie, Orphan (link), it freaked us out. We will not tolerate a child with A.D.H.D. (Sorry, Ryan Higa), but we might over a kid with Character Disorder, it's no contest. We're paranoid from all we've done.
Remember M is for Magic by Neil Gaiman? IT IS NOT A CHILDREN'S BOOK!
I will go to the retreat, it's an excuse a chance to be with friends and see Arden Tate. :P
That is all. :)) Labels: #update, %english, `fandom, `life
|
This should be the first time that I don't have a list of what I want on a special day. Well, it's not called a list if you write one specific thing down, right?
I had the bestest best day of my life! :D ♣Got a bouquet from Vil. Violet flowers. ♥ ♣Got this cool heart shaped thingy sa white board, thanks to Ia~! She seriously knows I love talong the colors green and violet. ♣Ate lunch at Cafe Uno with Pajas and Paul. ♣Got a cake from Vil, Mea, Franco, Leah, Mtin, J9, Paula, Vids (tama ba pagkasunod-sunod? haha. ) ♣Got this singing card from Franco (and Mea)! Ang cute~! ♣Got a cross earring from Vil. ('yung isa, nakanya. Haha.) ♣Got Simply Tarot thingy from Vil. xD ♣Got... ♥ ♣Got a ring and butterfly loop earrings from Mom.
Happy 17th~! :D 19 days before Grad.
[credits to Vil. LOL.] Labels: #list, %english, `ehem, `life
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I just want to give myself some credit, for having my life going. :D
[updated] 'Cause for some reasons, everything's going crazy. Right when we're about to graduate. Tsktsk...
-------- Months ago, I was half-heartedly aiming at things that looked good. If I can't have that one thing I really wanted, I should atleast have everything else. I used to think that way. And I'm glad it's over.
If you can't see I'm happy, you probably haven't seen happy yet. Haha. Everything just seems so good. You know that feeling, like you're in-control, like life's on your team? Well, that's how I feel right now.
Days ago, there's this person who probably got jealous, and I don't blame him. LOL. He tried making me think of bad stuff, the "real" side. I'd give details but, I just can't think of a good enough reason why I should. Anyway, when it didn't work, he raked history and brought up a hideous past. I was troubled and desperate. I know I can't explain myself, but we both know it didn't go that way.
Dude, you're low. I'm sorry you think I won, but I never wanted to play games with you. I'm sorry that you're not trying to be happy! Don't bring others down just so you'd look good. Dust yourself, and I'll give you a push but you need to keep walking. Be a man.
-------- The world won't stop to wait for you. This is something I learned during my stay in PISAY.
You failed, you tripped. So? We won't fail and trip just so you'll feel less stupid. We will hold your hand, so you wont fail and trip on your own. But don't be so dependent. We have lives, too. Sometime, and for us it's just 21 days away, we will have to start a new chapter of our lives, and maybe, live separately. You'll meet new people, and maybe, get along with them. If there are things you want, keep in mind that there are things they might want as well. Also, we're all different. However smooth your friendship will be, you might not see things the way they see it. Be considerate, don't be such a brat. How old are you again?
Before claiming that WE, who've fucking helped you in everything and you lovingly tagged along in your miseries, are cheating you in some way, look at yourself. Did you always do what you said you'd do for us? Did you never suggested you go ahead? It might look like we're singling you out, but, why should we? We're equals! And you thinking that we singled you out only shows you don't see us as your equals. You want you and yourself on top priority, always.
When you say sorry, please, admit that you're wrong. What the hell is the point of saying "sorry" if you don't mean it? Sorry, let's be friends again. And then what? Don't insult me.
Don't expect me to be all nice to you after what happened. Guess what, you just made me realize how annoying you've been for the last, uhm, four months. Actually, you've been annoying the first time we met. Our first conversation, you apologized. I never knew you talked bad about me, but I just brushed it off. Can you see where it brought us? Back where we started.
-------- Be happy! :D Labels: #cw, %english, `death
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[edit]
Feb 26 - Prom :: Bought shoes hours before the Prom. Haha. :: MC-ing isn't my thing, I think... :: Somehow, all went well. :D :: First and last dance: Serville James. Of course. :) ♥ :: I'm surprised that I was asked to dance... in every song played. :D :: Juniors I'll never forget: Sablay, Marnel, Raj... and Joni. Haha. :: wasn't my dream Prom, but, equally awesome. :))
Mar 1-4 Periodical Exams :: I don't expect much. :: Proud of the girls, esp. Elisa, for having the PE periodicals postponed. Haha.
Mar 5 8th Foundation Day :: Dora the explorer. xD (inside joke, sorry) :: Motorcade - almost died! Kim Chan kasi! X.x --- yung side ng truck, natanggal yung lock, muntik na kaming nahulog, katabi ko pa siya! :: Ememex did really great with the dance! They're the BEST! :)) We all know that. :: Ang gwapo ni Vil! :D *proud* :: Magaling din naman yung band, Untouchables Unleashed. LOL. xD :: Ang gwapo ni Fed... Me: kapag gabi... Aissa: kapag nakatalikod. :: Ang ganda raw ng black theatre namin. :D *proud* :: The night ended with mixed emotions. Happy tears~! (haha, hindi ako umiyak :P yey~)
23 days before Graduation... 4 days before 17th year... Labels: #life, #list, #update, %taglish, `school
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tagboard soon
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The cat loves to purr, and meow, and hiss. She's a very noisy cat, obviously. Kitty loves to sleep, next to her love for food. Food she loves include pizza, pasta, crepes, pancakes, cakes, milktea,burgers, etc. She loves being worshipped. Bow down to me!!! She loves cuddles, unless we're not close, eew don't touch me freak.
This kitty is in-love with a non-reacting bunny. He's always acting cool, and fails at it. He is crazy and loves computers.
This is still pretty much under construction; hence the emptiness.
Adopted Trees.
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