For the 2nd sem...
I experienced my first drop. After what happened with Canlubo (1st sem), I think I should consider the profs threats as, well, as threats. :O Paranoid.
I got more and more confused about what I want in life. Life before UP, I was certain I'd be an Engineer. Now, here I am. A Physicist in the making. A sloppy creation, I must say. I am so not ready for this. But, I don't want to give up.
I seem to have seen a lot of prof-types. But, please, surprise me, CRS. Surprise me.
I hate Chem. I realized that I am so stupid in Chem. I'm srsly confused. Pisay should've hired better teachers, srsly. Honestly, parang wala akong natutunan sa Pisay. And, whatever. Chem 16, you showed me that hard work doesn't cover up my lack of Chem common sense. Thank you and good bye forever.
I've been practically alone this sem. First of all, Irah is busy with ML, and Marian is busy with her TWO orgs. Next, I only have Chem 16 with my Physics friends, and yeah. I suck. Third, IDK, i just didn't want to be close to anyone new. So STFU. I'm not a loner, I'm just busy waiting for my other friends to call me. =__=;;
I've only read 5 novels this sem. JUST FIVE. I can't believe I was that lazy. :|
Nawalan ako ng maraming friends kasi, uhm, snob ako? :O Hindi namamansin? Hindi nakakaalala? IDK about you guys, pero, YES, I am like that. Hindi ba 'yun naman talaga ang first impression niyo of me? :/ I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm busy. I'm sorry I thought you were busy too. I'm sorry, I thought we all understand. :|
Anyway, whatever. Ciao, 2nd sem!
Kbye. Labels: #list, #update, %taglish, `school
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I hope I'm just being paranoid. I hope I'm just thinking too much. I hope I'm just psycho-analyzing everything. This is one of the rare times I wish I'm wrong.
I've been trying to avoid blogging about this, because I just feel weird about it. And I know I'm not making any sense. So, let me try not to talk about it but talk about something else which is in tiny bits connected to it but not really and yeah. :|
Have you ever tried doing something for someone and get rejected? Or, maybe, asking for an apology and still be shun by the world. After some long stretches of time, the world looks for you and tells you, "hey! If you were really sorry back then, you should still be sorry now." Or something like that. Am I making any sense? :/
ETO NALANG. Kunwari, may friend ka. Nasabihan mo syang pangit, kasi totoo naman. Tapos naasar sya. Kasi naman, anong klaseng kaibigan ang magsasabi na pangit ka, di ba? Pero, you were just saying the truth. And you don't really mean that friend is always ugly, or really ugly, or kill-me-now-that-person-is-so-fucking-ugly type. Baka, bad hair day lang or something. Now, you say sorry, and explain yourself. Sasabihan mo, "sige, aayusan kita," or, "bibigyan kita ng pera," or "sayo na buhay ko, putek, wag ka na magalit." Pero, sabi niya, wag na. Kasi, nasaktan na sya sa sinabi mo eh. Hindi na mababalik 'yun. A few days later, okay na ulit kayo, parang walang nangyari. Tapos, isang araw, parang, magsasabi siya ng problema or magrarant, or magggive up on something... kasi pangit sya. Nakuha niyo na ba? If that happens, like, "pangit kasi ako..." di ba, parang ang lalim pala nung nagawa when you don't really mean it. What's worse is, ipapakita pa niya na ang miserable nya. Tapos, sasabihin niya, sana may mag-ayos sakanya, sana may magbigay sakanya ng pera, sana may makipagpalit sakanya ng buhay... TANGA BA SYA? You offered those and rejected you, right?
ACK. I'm so stressed.
I hope I'm just imagining things...
[edit] something's fishy... Labels: #update, %taglish, `life, suicidal
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Okay, as I was typing the title, I've thought of a joke like, "I've chosen you" or something... :O Ack! Weird girl. =__=;;
ANYWAY. I was reading my Physics notes (because I'm going to have an exam later today, Monday), and I realize how nanotechnology is related to life. :D
[BE WARNED, making this post is an excuse, I'm studying. ]
Porous Silicon - reflects light Silicon is everywhere. You can get some without realizing it. It's the ideal element for making those wires for something I forgot. Problem is, Silicon (in solid state, of course) does not reflect light. AND, how is this related to life? Okay, sometimes there are things that are convenient but aren't actually what you need. Like drugs and alcohol. They take you high for sometime but not really what you need.
Silicon, when immersed in a chemical that I forgot, becomes porous. With the biggest pores of idk diameter, and of something percent scattering. Like in life, you can make things work.
Dr. Somintac's (my future adviser, maybe) lab wanted to break a record about the reflection of light and shit concerning solar panels. They needed Gold nanodots. How on earth will they make nanodots? They reused the porous Silicon. And like life, the things you might think your done with are the ones you need most. So, learn to keep them in your cabinet, let it shimmer, put aside for a bit, or things like that. ALSO, something builds up other things. People are not suddenly the way they are. Everything else, and everyone else, have their template. Like the Gold nanodots needed the porous Silicon.
After perfecting the technology in making Gold nanodots, Dr. Somintac wanted Gold nanowires. YES, nanowires. So, again, he used the nanodots to make the nanowires, in a process I forgot. So, yeah. Everything starts small. Those wires started as dots, and like words start with letters, and words make sentences... Blahblah...
And so, only those with knowledge know that the GREATEST things in life can't be seen with the naked eye.
Dear Lord, help me remember the things I forgot, help me make things close to those I don't know...
[manic mode]
[edit] Nano amounts of gold is cheap, according to Dr. Somintac. The Condensed Matter Physics Lab also made GaAs nanowires and Titanium oxide nanotubes... Dr. Somintac looks so much like Jack Sparrow, that's why that's his nickname. I like him so much because he's funny and smart!
KBYE. Labels: #cw, %english, `school
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So, yeah. Freaky things happen. Now playing, Never Knew I Needed by Ne-Yo. It's the OST for Princess and the Frog.
ANYWAY, I like this song a lot. It's about realizing how someone actually means so much to you. BASTA, the lyrics seem to say everything I feel right now. And, honestly, I'm scared.
That is all. Labels: #cw, #update, %english, `life
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A few hours ago, na-realize ni Camille na nawawala na 'yung laptop n'ya. And, I feel so sad that this happened to her. With exams week, andaming ginagawang papers and all those shit na kailangang i-pass. And, napaisip ako sa sinabi niya, "bilang writter, para akong violinist na naputulan ng braso." Iniiwan-iwan ko lang laptop ko, and madalas, di kami nagla-lock ng door. Kung ako nawalan ng laptop, with all my Photoshop Projects, all my stories and other creative writing works, my fandom stuff... My life is in my laptop. I can't imagine how things would be if I can't study, I can't relax, I can't write... Sometimes, things happen to people, then we realize we're lucky. That shouldn't be. :| Labels: #update, %taglish, `school
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I HAVE FREE NET. I HAVE FREE UNLI. I HAVE FREE LOVE. ♥
yeahright.
ANYWAY, I am so pissed off with my Chem LE3. I've never been this sincere with Chem, and still my score is shit. This only proves that my hard work doesn't cover up for the talent I lack. I suck at Chem. :|
My Math is doing okay, so far...
CW10 is so weird. I've learned to actually write on my own. :O We're doing a play on the 29th. Which is weird, BTW. Creative Writing, and we're doing a play we didn't make? :O Wow.
The more Physics class I have, the more I get confused. Which Lab should I get into? Should I even stay? Physics is just too cool. B)
It's been long since I talked about acads. I love Physics. I love studying, but, I'm just not that great. :P
Fixed the links, BTW. :)) Checkitcheckit out. :D [edit] I'll be updating my accounts... because I'm no longer 17. xD
[edit] I will not talk about Rebecca Black because I'm pretty sure we all know who she is and why she's so famous. :| I actually like Bieber now. Atleast his songs have concepts. Labels: #update, %english, `me, `school
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Last time I check, it was 3:48 AM. I don't think I fell asleep, but since I was dreaming I might have. I remember the last chapters I read off of Linger. Sam and Grace together on a bed. Except I didn't see them. I saw myself hand-in-hand with Marcgell. Selfishly enjoying each other's company. We didn't have to do anything. We didn't have to talk. The mere fact that he wasn't with someone else, someplace else, made me feel at ease. And then I woke up because my phone is ringing. Marcgell. Him calling at this time of the day isn't new to me. I answered and put my phone to my ear. We talked for a bit, and I forgot what he was saying because I drifted away… and then he was shouting in my ear and woke me up. I told him I was awake. And then I couldn't breathe. Sudden asthma attack? My windpipe closing in due to allergy? I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't move. I thought I was dying and I had Marcgell on the other line… And then I woke up. I really couldn't breathe. I struggled to get up and drink half of my morning water. I slumped back down to my pillows to relax. I took. my phone. 4:35 AM. I hardly had time to sleep, then. On the other bed, my roommate tossed and turned, waiting for the others to finish taking their baths. I turned away from her and faced the wall. As I was tucking my phone under my pillow, I received a message from the frustrated Marcgell. So, it was almost 5AM and he was still working. Me? I watched Glee, and Big Bang Music Videos and Performances. I read fanfics and a few chapters of Linger. The only productive thing I did that night was 2 fail poems for my Creative Writing class. Labels: #cw, #update, %english, `school
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"Love is being stupid together."
I read this in one of the heart-shaped cut-outs in the third floor stretch. I'm familiar with this quote, I've read this tens of times before. I always did agree. But right not, well, I guess I've changed somehow. I beg to disagree. Having fun together doesn't always need to be stupid, or doing stupid things together. Sometimes, stupid things get you into trouble. For example, crashing into a club and getting drunk and high, with music bouncing off the walls. Sounds like a party, right? And parties are fun, right? But, what if you're a minor? Drinking is illegal. BTW, I'm finally legal, yey~! Anyway, what if you get robbed, mobbed, date-raped. DI BA? Being stupid isn't always fun. And having fun does not require one to be stupid. Love is being stupid together. Love for work, isn't stupid. Being committed to your job, to what feeds your family, is not stupid. Love between friends isn't stupid. Eating lunch together, shopping together, doing each others nails and make-up isn't stupid. If whoever wrote the quote means, "falling for someone unexpectedly, doing things you never thought you'd do," then I forgive him or her. Not that he or she has done much of a sin. We are but just human beings. We want the best things in the world. We set standards, we have requirements for a partner. We have our ideal type. But, this is what the quote author prolly thought stupid, or weird,: when you fall for someone out of your ideal. He or She be the exemption. To me, it's really stupid to say "I want this, I want that" then falling for someone rather different. Boo you. You are just human, like them, like me. (But I'm not saying people should stop setting standards. Think, people. You don't have to settle for someone, uhm, unpleasing….) Love works this way: you fall for each other stupid, then you grow together wise. You might do stupid things, but you learn. After some time, you might feel like, maybe, you're growing apart, but actually, you're just learning to handle things even when you're not physically together. You learn how to control each others feelings (not in a perverted manipulation, okay?). You become wise, and yet, you stay madly in-love. :) Labels: #cw, %english, `life
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Ang Himig Kalay ay para sa mga magagaling kumanta, marunong kumanta, gustong matutong kumanta… Sa mga adik sa pagkanta, parang adik 'pag kumanta… Sa mga walang ibang gustong gawin kundi kumanta, sa mga kumakanta 'pag walang magawa… "Magandang gabi, Kalayaan Residents. Inaanyayaan namin ang lahat para mag-sign up sa Himig Kalay, ang official na Singing Club ng Kalayaan. Lahat ng interesado, mag-sign up lamang sa RA Counter. Inuulit ko, lahat…"Bumaba ako agad papuntang RA Counter nung in-announce over the intercom na open na ang sign-up for Himig Kalay. Naaalala ko pa kung sino-sino 'yung mga nakasabay kong nag-audition: Tintin, Nico, Edwin, Ray Ben, May, Davian, Annie ng Bicol na taga-CF2, at 'yung friend ni Fau na 'di ko na maalala 'yung name. Naaalala ko, wala pang adviser. Sina Kuya Dennis at Kuya John palang 'yung temporary na naghahawak ng club. Pinakanta nila kami isa-isa. Since ang alam ko lang na kanta ay Unfaithful, at ni-request naman ni Kuya Dennis na mag-Rihanna ako, 'yun nalang kinanta ko. Nakalimutan ko na nga 'yung lyrics, eh. Pero, it doesn't matter. Lahat kami, kinuha nila. Ganun kasi talaga 'yun. 'Yung mismong audition, trip lang. Pang-check lang ng confidence level. Lahat ng nagsulat sa sign-up sheet, pasok na.
First performance namin sa Acquaintance Party. 'Yun 'yung formal na introduction ng Himig Kalay! Dumating na rin 'yung adviser namin, si Ate Nina! Kami-kami lang 'yung nagturo sa isa't-isa. Si Ate Nina, sinabi n'ya kung anong mali, tapos we had to figure out how to fix ourselves. Lupang Hinirang, tapos isang religious song na hindi ko alam ang title. Fail pa ako 'nun. Since 'di ko alam 'yung sa doxo song, nagha-hum-hum lang ako. Katabi ko pa si Aivi Porn, na 'di rin alam 'yung kanta! Pero, it turned out well naman daw...
First performance outside Kalay, sa International Center! Excited ang lahat, syempre! Tapos, nag-bonding pa before this. Nag-dye kami ng shirts. Dito rin 'yung first cold war. Super dami pa namin nuon, pero super dami rin nawala nung performance na mismo. Dahil masyado kaming marami, ang hirap mag-meet ng ugali ng iba. Nagka-problema tuloy kami. Still, kahit na medyo fail 'yung performance, na-enjoy pa rin namin. First pay, with free food paaa~ Oh, free food~!
First, and hopefully the only, performance na na-miss ko, 'yung Opening ng Sports Fest! Nag-puyat kasi kami night before to perfect the songs. Ayun, pag-gising ko, nabasa kong text, "in 15 minutes..." something, something. Habang naliligo ako, ayun, nagstart na sila... at natapos na sila... at super sad ako.
Sa Himig ko nalaman na I'm a bad singer (as in lahat ng mali sa pagkanta, meron ako), pero, at the same time, ang Himig ang ayaw talaga akong pakawalan because I have a future. Sa Himig, nagpupuyat ako para matututo ng isang kanta, pero sa Himig ko rin naririnig na "mag-aral ka muna, may exam ka ba?" Ang Himig 'yung group, na may commitment ako, that requires sooo much time but gives more in return. Hindi s'ya tulad ng corridor na, lahat mag-wowork walang exam-exam. Hindi s'ya tulad ng Physics na, 'pag nag-shift out ka na, wala na... Ang pinakanakakatuwa sa lahat, kahit walang magsasabi ng totoo, alam namin sa boses ng isa't-isa kung ano talaga meron. Kahit sabihin mong wala kang problema alam nila. At hindi lang alam nila, they'll do something about it. Walang practice, walang kanta-kanta. Let's talk about it, or, let's not talk about it. We should atleast do something to take it off your mind.
Overall, super happy-sad-happy-whoooooaaaaa-happy-stress-happy-whooooaaaa-happy ang Himig. :)) I will now and forever be singing with you in mind. Parang high school lang, pero, I had the best Freshie memories with you Davian, Tintin, Esjie, Paul, Rey Ben, Lawrence, Keith, Olan, Nico, Karen, Gai, and Naomi. :)
and, BTW, hindi ko sa FB ippost...
AZURIN, WENDI LAUREEN I. BS Kalay Major in Himig Labels: #update, %taglish, `school
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Thank you, Lord, for giving me another year to cause chaos in the world. :)) Maraming salamat sa mga nag-wish for my happy birthday! Maraming salamat: - kina Marian, Michoi, Irah;
- sa mga Kalay Friends (kina Louis Estrada, Niña Lucero, Mariel, Gabbie Oserraos, Pauli, Kyno, Sarah & Go, Camille Calma, Ethel, Ran, JayR, Arvee, Maikko Argonza, Nate Casanova, Mikee, Ian Biagtan, Theo Musni, Edwin Anadon, Leo, France, Jonnel...) lalo na sa GA (Chan, Myrtle, Badette Toledo, Janni, Chrissa, Julie, Ate Zay, Essa, Jen, Gilleanne, Niña Rivera, Jackie, Macey, Ruby Jane, Trinette, Czam, Nadine, Angely, Ola, Shane Golo, Azel...), at sa BA23 (HB, Clarus, Gio, D, Yusay, Shin Boo...);
- sa Physics Friends (Reza, Jayjay, JD, JK, Nicole, Julia, Merylle, Xavier, Ace, Art, ML, Peter Paul, Peter John, Adrian, Pam, Isabelle, Exur, Elsie, Shaminna Hannah, Bimbo, Robby, Shar Mae, Lheander, Aiko, ChaCha, ...);
- sa Himig Kalay (Olan, Tintin, Keith, Davian, Gai, Paul, Nico, Bruno Mars Ray Ben, Karen, Lawrence, Esjie, Ate Nina);
- kina Gab Ocama, Dox, Nicole Sanchez, Kiel Miclat, Raissa Anne;
- sa mga Pisayers (Hanna Thea, Ate Girlie, Kuya Daryll, Nae, Rejy, Kuya Jay, Kuya Iel, Ate Ian, Kuya Leo Bert, Ate Dianne, Charissma, Jel, Kristia, Shane Castro, Nate Domingo, Penny, Myles, Darien, Kuya Rommel, Kuya Alvin, Kuya Kayvee, Ryan Wong, Ate Ina, Kuya Tri, Elyka, Kuya Vinci, Paolo Sandoval, Dren...) lalo na sa aking mga pinakamamahal na batchmates, sa eMeMeX (Albei, Vil, Raymart, Jia, Mia, Francienne,Romeo, Xtian, Martin, Mea, Justin, Jayson, Karlo, Oscar, Fed Jemar, Nevin, Fhae, Kristoffer, Reyna, Ashley Ryan, Pajas, JB, Nix & her boyfriend Rdean, Kim Chan, Andrew ...);
- kina Chino Singson, Jeanne-lyn, Zeagal, Aleizzah, JP, Em Villanueva, Ate Jizelle, Dianne Erica, Sharmaine, Lean Monique;
- kina Kevin Aldrin and his younger brother, Ate Natalie Joy, Francis Roxas, Ate Tessa, Ronn Earl;
- kay Pochie (na orgmate ni Marcgell);
- kay Ate Janine (na childhood friend ni Lei);
- kay Kuya Barney (kuya ni Irah Babe), Kyla Bigay;
- kay Gloverly Estrada (na na-meet ko sa contest ng Research);
- sa drummer ng Letter Day Story, EJ Arabit;
- sa guitarist ng Eevee, Paolo Segura (akala ko di mo ko iggreet, magtatampo na sana ako, di ko lang pala nabasa agad...);
- kay Geneva;
- kina JeYa, Rexor, Ajang (my brothers' friends);
- kina Kamille Jovette, Martz Alviedo, Bruce Barba, Tonton Rabang;
- kina Clarisse Nica, Ceres (wonderstar@RB);
- kina Sheena Garcia, Mae Linn Sora (Marian's AP12 friends);
- kina Tita Vangie (my mom's officemate), Tita Jean Marie Vicente (mom ni Nesthie);
- sa Mom and Dad ni Marcgell;
- sa FdC (Gemoelle, Shonique, Sherwin, Camille Eugenio, Tinai);
- kina Ma'am Likha (Geol11 Lab), Ma'am Rea(Chem16 Lab), Ma'am Sharon (Pisay Lab) (tambay talaga ako kapag Lab :) I love Lab!), Sir Bobby;
- sa Family ko (Mommy, Daddy, Lei, Eigie, Gemille, Tita Lyn, Mamang Lily, Kuya Peewee, Ate Mae Oliva, Arden Tate, Tita Bambi Itum...);
- sa mga nag-greet sakin na di ko kilala, CW10 class ko(sina Timothy, Roy, at Ace lang kilala ko... and I listed Ace under Physics na, and Roy didn't greet me.), 'yung dalawang members ng Indak Kalay (si Steph pala 'yung isa), at yung nag-text sakin na unknown number;
- kay Marcgell
Thank you sa Ghost Girl na hard bound na original print! Naiyak talaga ako kasi first time kong maka-receive ng book on my birthday. Every birthday ko, since Grade 5, nagwiwish na 'ko na may magbigay sakin ng book. I always ended up buying myself a good book on my birthday. Ngayon, yey! At malamang, galing din sa mga mahilig mag-basa. THANK YOU MARIAN, MICHOI, and IRAH!!!
Malamang ang ganda ng pagkanta ng Himig ng Happy Birthday. May dynamics, powers, and all that shiz pang nalalaman. :) Akala ko 'yun na, kasi natuwa na ako na 'yun lang... 'Yun pala, may 18 cookies + 18 candles pa. x) Tapos, the guys, kinantahan at isinayaw pa ko. :) Though, hindi umabot ng 18, okay na. Thank you Maikko Argonza na dumagdag para dumami yung guys sa Himig!
Hay naku, Marcgell. :P Kahit hindi mo nagawa yung unang sinabi ko, sana bumawi ka sa ibang classes mo. :)) I still love you!
[ kung kulang 'yung list, sorry. PM me, I'll update it. ] [ syempre maraming nag-overlap, pero, di naman 'yun ang mahalaga, basta ma-list ko kayong lahat... ] [originally posted March 12 9:43 PM] Labels: #list, #update, %taglish, `me, `school
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Using the term "Hell Week" is so stereotype. :O
ANYWAY, the dorm is celebrating the annual Kalay Week. We all know all celebrations need preparations and all that sh-.
March 04 - Wacky Day March 05 - Open House March 08 - Mr&Ms Kalay Opening March 09 - Mr&Ms Kalay Talents Night March 10 - Mr&Ms Kalay Q&A March 11 - Formal Dinner: Golden Oble Awards
---- Wacky Day was great. Okay, there were a few KJs (ack, I hate them.) that didn't even bother look for something to wear. Well, they had to pay 200php for every entrance/exit, so, boo them.
I dressed up as a fairy... I'm such a failure tho, forgot to get my wings. x__x But, atleast, everybody knew what I was dressed as, so, I'm glad. And I remember what Jackie told me, "buti nalang dito sa UP, walang pakealamanan. Kung hindi, mamamatay ako sa hiya."
My favorite costume would be Captain Jack Sparrow. :O SOOOO COOOOOL. And I'm illegally posting the link here. Look at him, he's so cool! :O
I wasn't stressed too much about dressing up. Sanay na rin kasi akong napagtitripan ng dorm, dressing up with garbage bags were worse.
--- The Open House was a lot more stressful. Take note, before the Open House is the Wacky Day. Overnight, we had to decorate our corridors. =__=; We had to work til 4AM. It's hard to work when your corridor is seperated into three floors. So, we just worked separately. We agreed that the 1st floor would do Underworld, 2nd floor with Human World, and 3rd floor, us, with Mount Olympus (Heaven). We are so cool and selfish... and bored... and hungry... and so sabaw... Thinking of that night, we really were so random. We'd fight over clouds. We'd argue with the FM radio station. We'd eat each other! No, kidding. :P
The bright side: (1) we were all able to explore the dorm, the guys could go to the girls' wing, and the girls can go to the boys' wing; (2) Marcgell came; (3) GA 3rd Floor likes Marcgell; (4) Himig Kalay likes Marcgell; and, of course, (5) I like being with Marcgell. AH, wait, what was I talking about?
--- That night, Kalay had the Peryahan or something, where each corridor had to set up a booth. Anyway, Himig didn't join in. :( It's sad that we missed it. But, atleast, we were able to perform in Ilang's Formal Dinner.
We performed The Lion Sleeps Tonight (which I was supposedly studying last weekend, when I was with Marcgell), L'important (a French song... and I missed the training for the 3rd verse), and Just The Way You Are (which I missed all trainings because I was in LB, and Marcgell was sick). First of all, the Lion Sleeps Tonight is a really hard piece. I am really really really sorry that I kept on skipping parts. L'important, as I said, is a French song. I'm sorry I'm not French. Just the Way You Are, well, I love Bruno Mars. But, I hate not being the melody, so, sorry. :|
But, overall, pinakain naman kami ng Ilang kahit andami kong napansing mali ko. And Marcgell met my choir (that seems to be an org, sometimes). They like him a lot. :) I'm so happy!
--- Himig Kalay will be performing in every Mr&Ms Kalay event. Help us. :O
--- I have Math, Physics, and Chem LEs. Oh, help me. Labels: #list, #update, %english, `ehem, `life, `school
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For the 2nd sem...
I experienced my first drop. After what happened with Canlubo (1st sem), I think I should consider the profs threats as, well, as threats. :O Paranoid.
I got more and more confused about what I want in life. Life before UP, I was certain I'd be an Engineer. Now, here I am. A Physicist in the making. A sloppy creation, I must say. I am so not ready for this. But, I don't want to give up.
I seem to have seen a lot of prof-types. But, please, surprise me, CRS. Surprise me.
I hate Chem. I realized that I am so stupid in Chem. I'm srsly confused. Pisay should've hired better teachers, srsly. Honestly, parang wala akong natutunan sa Pisay. And, whatever. Chem 16, you showed me that hard work doesn't cover up my lack of Chem common sense. Thank you and good bye forever.
I've been practically alone this sem. First of all, Irah is busy with ML, and Marian is busy with her TWO orgs. Next, I only have Chem 16 with my Physics friends, and yeah. I suck. Third, IDK, i just didn't want to be close to anyone new. So STFU. I'm not a loner, I'm just busy waiting for my other friends to call me. =__=;;
I've only read 5 novels this sem. JUST FIVE. I can't believe I was that lazy. :|
Nawalan ako ng maraming friends kasi, uhm, snob ako? :O Hindi namamansin? Hindi nakakaalala? IDK about you guys, pero, YES, I am like that. Hindi ba 'yun naman talaga ang first impression niyo of me? :/ I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm busy. I'm sorry I thought you were busy too. I'm sorry, I thought we all understand. :|
Anyway, whatever. Ciao, 2nd sem!
Kbye. Labels: #list, #update, %taglish, `school
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I hope I'm just being paranoid. I hope I'm just thinking too much. I hope I'm just psycho-analyzing everything. This is one of the rare times I wish I'm wrong.
I've been trying to avoid blogging about this, because I just feel weird about it. And I know I'm not making any sense. So, let me try not to talk about it but talk about something else which is in tiny bits connected to it but not really and yeah. :|
Have you ever tried doing something for someone and get rejected? Or, maybe, asking for an apology and still be shun by the world. After some long stretches of time, the world looks for you and tells you, "hey! If you were really sorry back then, you should still be sorry now." Or something like that. Am I making any sense? :/
ETO NALANG. Kunwari, may friend ka. Nasabihan mo syang pangit, kasi totoo naman. Tapos naasar sya. Kasi naman, anong klaseng kaibigan ang magsasabi na pangit ka, di ba? Pero, you were just saying the truth. And you don't really mean that friend is always ugly, or really ugly, or kill-me-now-that-person-is-so-fucking-ugly type. Baka, bad hair day lang or something. Now, you say sorry, and explain yourself. Sasabihan mo, "sige, aayusan kita," or, "bibigyan kita ng pera," or "sayo na buhay ko, putek, wag ka na magalit." Pero, sabi niya, wag na. Kasi, nasaktan na sya sa sinabi mo eh. Hindi na mababalik 'yun. A few days later, okay na ulit kayo, parang walang nangyari. Tapos, isang araw, parang, magsasabi siya ng problema or magrarant, or magggive up on something... kasi pangit sya. Nakuha niyo na ba? If that happens, like, "pangit kasi ako..." di ba, parang ang lalim pala nung nagawa when you don't really mean it. What's worse is, ipapakita pa niya na ang miserable nya. Tapos, sasabihin niya, sana may mag-ayos sakanya, sana may magbigay sakanya ng pera, sana may makipagpalit sakanya ng buhay... TANGA BA SYA? You offered those and rejected you, right?
ACK. I'm so stressed.
I hope I'm just imagining things...
[edit] something's fishy... Labels: #update, %taglish, `life, suicidal
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Okay, as I was typing the title, I've thought of a joke like, "I've chosen you" or something... :O Ack! Weird girl. =__=;;
ANYWAY. I was reading my Physics notes (because I'm going to have an exam later today, Monday), and I realize how nanotechnology is related to life. :D
[BE WARNED, making this post is an excuse, I'm studying. ]
Porous Silicon - reflects light Silicon is everywhere. You can get some without realizing it. It's the ideal element for making those wires for something I forgot. Problem is, Silicon (in solid state, of course) does not reflect light. AND, how is this related to life? Okay, sometimes there are things that are convenient but aren't actually what you need. Like drugs and alcohol. They take you high for sometime but not really what you need.
Silicon, when immersed in a chemical that I forgot, becomes porous. With the biggest pores of idk diameter, and of something percent scattering. Like in life, you can make things work.
Dr. Somintac's (my future adviser, maybe) lab wanted to break a record about the reflection of light and shit concerning solar panels. They needed Gold nanodots. How on earth will they make nanodots? They reused the porous Silicon. And like life, the things you might think your done with are the ones you need most. So, learn to keep them in your cabinet, let it shimmer, put aside for a bit, or things like that. ALSO, something builds up other things. People are not suddenly the way they are. Everything else, and everyone else, have their template. Like the Gold nanodots needed the porous Silicon.
After perfecting the technology in making Gold nanodots, Dr. Somintac wanted Gold nanowires. YES, nanowires. So, again, he used the nanodots to make the nanowires, in a process I forgot. So, yeah. Everything starts small. Those wires started as dots, and like words start with letters, and words make sentences... Blahblah...
And so, only those with knowledge know that the GREATEST things in life can't be seen with the naked eye.
Dear Lord, help me remember the things I forgot, help me make things close to those I don't know...
[manic mode]
[edit] Nano amounts of gold is cheap, according to Dr. Somintac. The Condensed Matter Physics Lab also made GaAs nanowires and Titanium oxide nanotubes... Dr. Somintac looks so much like Jack Sparrow, that's why that's his nickname. I like him so much because he's funny and smart!
KBYE. Labels: #cw, %english, `school
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So, yeah. Freaky things happen. Now playing, Never Knew I Needed by Ne-Yo. It's the OST for Princess and the Frog.
ANYWAY, I like this song a lot. It's about realizing how someone actually means so much to you. BASTA, the lyrics seem to say everything I feel right now. And, honestly, I'm scared.
That is all. Labels: #cw, #update, %english, `life
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A few hours ago, na-realize ni Camille na nawawala na 'yung laptop n'ya. And, I feel so sad that this happened to her. With exams week, andaming ginagawang papers and all those shit na kailangang i-pass. And, napaisip ako sa sinabi niya, "bilang writter, para akong violinist na naputulan ng braso." Iniiwan-iwan ko lang laptop ko, and madalas, di kami nagla-lock ng door. Kung ako nawalan ng laptop, with all my Photoshop Projects, all my stories and other creative writing works, my fandom stuff... My life is in my laptop. I can't imagine how things would be if I can't study, I can't relax, I can't write... Sometimes, things happen to people, then we realize we're lucky. That shouldn't be. :| Labels: #update, %taglish, `school
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I HAVE FREE NET. I HAVE FREE UNLI. I HAVE FREE LOVE. ♥
yeahright.
ANYWAY, I am so pissed off with my Chem LE3. I've never been this sincere with Chem, and still my score is shit. This only proves that my hard work doesn't cover up for the talent I lack. I suck at Chem. :|
My Math is doing okay, so far...
CW10 is so weird. I've learned to actually write on my own. :O We're doing a play on the 29th. Which is weird, BTW. Creative Writing, and we're doing a play we didn't make? :O Wow.
The more Physics class I have, the more I get confused. Which Lab should I get into? Should I even stay? Physics is just too cool. B)
It's been long since I talked about acads. I love Physics. I love studying, but, I'm just not that great. :P
Fixed the links, BTW. :)) Checkitcheckit out. :D [edit] I'll be updating my accounts... because I'm no longer 17. xD
[edit] I will not talk about Rebecca Black because I'm pretty sure we all know who she is and why she's so famous. :| I actually like Bieber now. Atleast his songs have concepts. Labels: #update, %english, `me, `school
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Last time I check, it was 3:48 AM. I don't think I fell asleep, but since I was dreaming I might have. I remember the last chapters I read off of Linger. Sam and Grace together on a bed. Except I didn't see them. I saw myself hand-in-hand with Marcgell. Selfishly enjoying each other's company. We didn't have to do anything. We didn't have to talk. The mere fact that he wasn't with someone else, someplace else, made me feel at ease. And then I woke up because my phone is ringing. Marcgell. Him calling at this time of the day isn't new to me. I answered and put my phone to my ear. We talked for a bit, and I forgot what he was saying because I drifted away… and then he was shouting in my ear and woke me up. I told him I was awake. And then I couldn't breathe. Sudden asthma attack? My windpipe closing in due to allergy? I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't move. I thought I was dying and I had Marcgell on the other line… And then I woke up. I really couldn't breathe. I struggled to get up and drink half of my morning water. I slumped back down to my pillows to relax. I took. my phone. 4:35 AM. I hardly had time to sleep, then. On the other bed, my roommate tossed and turned, waiting for the others to finish taking their baths. I turned away from her and faced the wall. As I was tucking my phone under my pillow, I received a message from the frustrated Marcgell. So, it was almost 5AM and he was still working. Me? I watched Glee, and Big Bang Music Videos and Performances. I read fanfics and a few chapters of Linger. The only productive thing I did that night was 2 fail poems for my Creative Writing class. Labels: #cw, #update, %english, `school
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"Love is being stupid together."
I read this in one of the heart-shaped cut-outs in the third floor stretch. I'm familiar with this quote, I've read this tens of times before. I always did agree. But right not, well, I guess I've changed somehow. I beg to disagree. Having fun together doesn't always need to be stupid, or doing stupid things together. Sometimes, stupid things get you into trouble. For example, crashing into a club and getting drunk and high, with music bouncing off the walls. Sounds like a party, right? And parties are fun, right? But, what if you're a minor? Drinking is illegal. BTW, I'm finally legal, yey~! Anyway, what if you get robbed, mobbed, date-raped. DI BA? Being stupid isn't always fun. And having fun does not require one to be stupid. Love is being stupid together. Love for work, isn't stupid. Being committed to your job, to what feeds your family, is not stupid. Love between friends isn't stupid. Eating lunch together, shopping together, doing each others nails and make-up isn't stupid. If whoever wrote the quote means, "falling for someone unexpectedly, doing things you never thought you'd do," then I forgive him or her. Not that he or she has done much of a sin. We are but just human beings. We want the best things in the world. We set standards, we have requirements for a partner. We have our ideal type. But, this is what the quote author prolly thought stupid, or weird,: when you fall for someone out of your ideal. He or She be the exemption. To me, it's really stupid to say "I want this, I want that" then falling for someone rather different. Boo you. You are just human, like them, like me. (But I'm not saying people should stop setting standards. Think, people. You don't have to settle for someone, uhm, unpleasing….) Love works this way: you fall for each other stupid, then you grow together wise. You might do stupid things, but you learn. After some time, you might feel like, maybe, you're growing apart, but actually, you're just learning to handle things even when you're not physically together. You learn how to control each others feelings (not in a perverted manipulation, okay?). You become wise, and yet, you stay madly in-love. :) Labels: #cw, %english, `life
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Ang Himig Kalay ay para sa mga magagaling kumanta, marunong kumanta, gustong matutong kumanta… Sa mga adik sa pagkanta, parang adik 'pag kumanta… Sa mga walang ibang gustong gawin kundi kumanta, sa mga kumakanta 'pag walang magawa… "Magandang gabi, Kalayaan Residents. Inaanyayaan namin ang lahat para mag-sign up sa Himig Kalay, ang official na Singing Club ng Kalayaan. Lahat ng interesado, mag-sign up lamang sa RA Counter. Inuulit ko, lahat…"Bumaba ako agad papuntang RA Counter nung in-announce over the intercom na open na ang sign-up for Himig Kalay. Naaalala ko pa kung sino-sino 'yung mga nakasabay kong nag-audition: Tintin, Nico, Edwin, Ray Ben, May, Davian, Annie ng Bicol na taga-CF2, at 'yung friend ni Fau na 'di ko na maalala 'yung name. Naaalala ko, wala pang adviser. Sina Kuya Dennis at Kuya John palang 'yung temporary na naghahawak ng club. Pinakanta nila kami isa-isa. Since ang alam ko lang na kanta ay Unfaithful, at ni-request naman ni Kuya Dennis na mag-Rihanna ako, 'yun nalang kinanta ko. Nakalimutan ko na nga 'yung lyrics, eh. Pero, it doesn't matter. Lahat kami, kinuha nila. Ganun kasi talaga 'yun. 'Yung mismong audition, trip lang. Pang-check lang ng confidence level. Lahat ng nagsulat sa sign-up sheet, pasok na.
First performance namin sa Acquaintance Party. 'Yun 'yung formal na introduction ng Himig Kalay! Dumating na rin 'yung adviser namin, si Ate Nina! Kami-kami lang 'yung nagturo sa isa't-isa. Si Ate Nina, sinabi n'ya kung anong mali, tapos we had to figure out how to fix ourselves. Lupang Hinirang, tapos isang religious song na hindi ko alam ang title. Fail pa ako 'nun. Since 'di ko alam 'yung sa doxo song, nagha-hum-hum lang ako. Katabi ko pa si Aivi Porn, na 'di rin alam 'yung kanta! Pero, it turned out well naman daw...
First performance outside Kalay, sa International Center! Excited ang lahat, syempre! Tapos, nag-bonding pa before this. Nag-dye kami ng shirts. Dito rin 'yung first cold war. Super dami pa namin nuon, pero super dami rin nawala nung performance na mismo. Dahil masyado kaming marami, ang hirap mag-meet ng ugali ng iba. Nagka-problema tuloy kami. Still, kahit na medyo fail 'yung performance, na-enjoy pa rin namin. First pay, with free food paaa~ Oh, free food~!
First, and hopefully the only, performance na na-miss ko, 'yung Opening ng Sports Fest! Nag-puyat kasi kami night before to perfect the songs. Ayun, pag-gising ko, nabasa kong text, "in 15 minutes..." something, something. Habang naliligo ako, ayun, nagstart na sila... at natapos na sila... at super sad ako.
Sa Himig ko nalaman na I'm a bad singer (as in lahat ng mali sa pagkanta, meron ako), pero, at the same time, ang Himig ang ayaw talaga akong pakawalan because I have a future. Sa Himig, nagpupuyat ako para matututo ng isang kanta, pero sa Himig ko rin naririnig na "mag-aral ka muna, may exam ka ba?" Ang Himig 'yung group, na may commitment ako, that requires sooo much time but gives more in return. Hindi s'ya tulad ng corridor na, lahat mag-wowork walang exam-exam. Hindi s'ya tulad ng Physics na, 'pag nag-shift out ka na, wala na... Ang pinakanakakatuwa sa lahat, kahit walang magsasabi ng totoo, alam namin sa boses ng isa't-isa kung ano talaga meron. Kahit sabihin mong wala kang problema alam nila. At hindi lang alam nila, they'll do something about it. Walang practice, walang kanta-kanta. Let's talk about it, or, let's not talk about it. We should atleast do something to take it off your mind.
Overall, super happy-sad-happy-whoooooaaaaa-happy-stress-happy-whooooaaaa-happy ang Himig. :)) I will now and forever be singing with you in mind. Parang high school lang, pero, I had the best Freshie memories with you Davian, Tintin, Esjie, Paul, Rey Ben, Lawrence, Keith, Olan, Nico, Karen, Gai, and Naomi. :)
and, BTW, hindi ko sa FB ippost...
AZURIN, WENDI LAUREEN I. BS Kalay Major in Himig Labels: #update, %taglish, `school
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Thank you, Lord, for giving me another year to cause chaos in the world. :)) Maraming salamat sa mga nag-wish for my happy birthday! Maraming salamat: - kina Marian, Michoi, Irah;
- sa mga Kalay Friends (kina Louis Estrada, Niña Lucero, Mariel, Gabbie Oserraos, Pauli, Kyno, Sarah & Go, Camille Calma, Ethel, Ran, JayR, Arvee, Maikko Argonza, Nate Casanova, Mikee, Ian Biagtan, Theo Musni, Edwin Anadon, Leo, France, Jonnel...) lalo na sa GA (Chan, Myrtle, Badette Toledo, Janni, Chrissa, Julie, Ate Zay, Essa, Jen, Gilleanne, Niña Rivera, Jackie, Macey, Ruby Jane, Trinette, Czam, Nadine, Angely, Ola, Shane Golo, Azel...), at sa BA23 (HB, Clarus, Gio, D, Yusay, Shin Boo...);
- sa Physics Friends (Reza, Jayjay, JD, JK, Nicole, Julia, Merylle, Xavier, Ace, Art, ML, Peter Paul, Peter John, Adrian, Pam, Isabelle, Exur, Elsie, Shaminna Hannah, Bimbo, Robby, Shar Mae, Lheander, Aiko, ChaCha, ...);
- sa Himig Kalay (Olan, Tintin, Keith, Davian, Gai, Paul, Nico, Bruno Mars Ray Ben, Karen, Lawrence, Esjie, Ate Nina);
- kina Gab Ocama, Dox, Nicole Sanchez, Kiel Miclat, Raissa Anne;
- sa mga Pisayers (Hanna Thea, Ate Girlie, Kuya Daryll, Nae, Rejy, Kuya Jay, Kuya Iel, Ate Ian, Kuya Leo Bert, Ate Dianne, Charissma, Jel, Kristia, Shane Castro, Nate Domingo, Penny, Myles, Darien, Kuya Rommel, Kuya Alvin, Kuya Kayvee, Ryan Wong, Ate Ina, Kuya Tri, Elyka, Kuya Vinci, Paolo Sandoval, Dren...) lalo na sa aking mga pinakamamahal na batchmates, sa eMeMeX (Albei, Vil, Raymart, Jia, Mia, Francienne,Romeo, Xtian, Martin, Mea, Justin, Jayson, Karlo, Oscar, Fed Jemar, Nevin, Fhae, Kristoffer, Reyna, Ashley Ryan, Pajas, JB, Nix & her boyfriend Rdean, Kim Chan, Andrew ...);
- kina Chino Singson, Jeanne-lyn, Zeagal, Aleizzah, JP, Em Villanueva, Ate Jizelle, Dianne Erica, Sharmaine, Lean Monique;
- kina Kevin Aldrin and his younger brother, Ate Natalie Joy, Francis Roxas, Ate Tessa, Ronn Earl;
- kay Pochie (na orgmate ni Marcgell);
- kay Ate Janine (na childhood friend ni Lei);
- kay Kuya Barney (kuya ni Irah Babe), Kyla Bigay;
- kay Gloverly Estrada (na na-meet ko sa contest ng Research);
- sa drummer ng Letter Day Story, EJ Arabit;
- sa guitarist ng Eevee, Paolo Segura (akala ko di mo ko iggreet, magtatampo na sana ako, di ko lang pala nabasa agad...);
- kay Geneva;
- kina JeYa, Rexor, Ajang (my brothers' friends);
- kina Kamille Jovette, Martz Alviedo, Bruce Barba, Tonton Rabang;
- kina Clarisse Nica, Ceres (wonderstar@RB);
- kina Sheena Garcia, Mae Linn Sora (Marian's AP12 friends);
- kina Tita Vangie (my mom's officemate), Tita Jean Marie Vicente (mom ni Nesthie);
- sa Mom and Dad ni Marcgell;
- sa FdC (Gemoelle, Shonique, Sherwin, Camille Eugenio, Tinai);
- kina Ma'am Likha (Geol11 Lab), Ma'am Rea(Chem16 Lab), Ma'am Sharon (Pisay Lab) (tambay talaga ako kapag Lab :) I love Lab!), Sir Bobby;
- sa Family ko (Mommy, Daddy, Lei, Eigie, Gemille, Tita Lyn, Mamang Lily, Kuya Peewee, Ate Mae Oliva, Arden Tate, Tita Bambi Itum...);
- sa mga nag-greet sakin na di ko kilala, CW10 class ko(sina Timothy, Roy, at Ace lang kilala ko... and I listed Ace under Physics na, and Roy didn't greet me.), 'yung dalawang members ng Indak Kalay (si Steph pala 'yung isa), at yung nag-text sakin na unknown number;
- kay Marcgell
Thank you sa Ghost Girl na hard bound na original print! Naiyak talaga ako kasi first time kong maka-receive ng book on my birthday. Every birthday ko, since Grade 5, nagwiwish na 'ko na may magbigay sakin ng book. I always ended up buying myself a good book on my birthday. Ngayon, yey! At malamang, galing din sa mga mahilig mag-basa. THANK YOU MARIAN, MICHOI, and IRAH!!!
Malamang ang ganda ng pagkanta ng Himig ng Happy Birthday. May dynamics, powers, and all that shiz pang nalalaman. :) Akala ko 'yun na, kasi natuwa na ako na 'yun lang... 'Yun pala, may 18 cookies + 18 candles pa. x) Tapos, the guys, kinantahan at isinayaw pa ko. :) Though, hindi umabot ng 18, okay na. Thank you Maikko Argonza na dumagdag para dumami yung guys sa Himig!
Hay naku, Marcgell. :P Kahit hindi mo nagawa yung unang sinabi ko, sana bumawi ka sa ibang classes mo. :)) I still love you!
[ kung kulang 'yung list, sorry. PM me, I'll update it. ] [ syempre maraming nag-overlap, pero, di naman 'yun ang mahalaga, basta ma-list ko kayong lahat... ] [originally posted March 12 9:43 PM] Labels: #list, #update, %taglish, `me, `school
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Using the term "Hell Week" is so stereotype. :O
ANYWAY, the dorm is celebrating the annual Kalay Week. We all know all celebrations need preparations and all that sh-.
March 04 - Wacky Day March 05 - Open House March 08 - Mr&Ms Kalay Opening March 09 - Mr&Ms Kalay Talents Night March 10 - Mr&Ms Kalay Q&A March 11 - Formal Dinner: Golden Oble Awards
---- Wacky Day was great. Okay, there were a few KJs (ack, I hate them.) that didn't even bother look for something to wear. Well, they had to pay 200php for every entrance/exit, so, boo them.
I dressed up as a fairy... I'm such a failure tho, forgot to get my wings. x__x But, atleast, everybody knew what I was dressed as, so, I'm glad. And I remember what Jackie told me, "buti nalang dito sa UP, walang pakealamanan. Kung hindi, mamamatay ako sa hiya."
My favorite costume would be Captain Jack Sparrow. :O SOOOO COOOOOL. And I'm illegally posting the link here. Look at him, he's so cool! :O
I wasn't stressed too much about dressing up. Sanay na rin kasi akong napagtitripan ng dorm, dressing up with garbage bags were worse.
--- The Open House was a lot more stressful. Take note, before the Open House is the Wacky Day. Overnight, we had to decorate our corridors. =__=; We had to work til 4AM. It's hard to work when your corridor is seperated into three floors. So, we just worked separately. We agreed that the 1st floor would do Underworld, 2nd floor with Human World, and 3rd floor, us, with Mount Olympus (Heaven). We are so cool and selfish... and bored... and hungry... and so sabaw... Thinking of that night, we really were so random. We'd fight over clouds. We'd argue with the FM radio station. We'd eat each other! No, kidding. :P
The bright side: (1) we were all able to explore the dorm, the guys could go to the girls' wing, and the girls can go to the boys' wing; (2) Marcgell came; (3) GA 3rd Floor likes Marcgell; (4) Himig Kalay likes Marcgell; and, of course, (5) I like being with Marcgell. AH, wait, what was I talking about?
--- That night, Kalay had the Peryahan or something, where each corridor had to set up a booth. Anyway, Himig didn't join in. :( It's sad that we missed it. But, atleast, we were able to perform in Ilang's Formal Dinner.
We performed The Lion Sleeps Tonight (which I was supposedly studying last weekend, when I was with Marcgell), L'important (a French song... and I missed the training for the 3rd verse), and Just The Way You Are (which I missed all trainings because I was in LB, and Marcgell was sick). First of all, the Lion Sleeps Tonight is a really hard piece. I am really really really sorry that I kept on skipping parts. L'important, as I said, is a French song. I'm sorry I'm not French. Just the Way You Are, well, I love Bruno Mars. But, I hate not being the melody, so, sorry. :|
But, overall, pinakain naman kami ng Ilang kahit andami kong napansing mali ko. And Marcgell met my choir (that seems to be an org, sometimes). They like him a lot. :) I'm so happy!
--- Himig Kalay will be performing in every Mr&Ms Kalay event. Help us. :O
--- I have Math, Physics, and Chem LEs. Oh, help me. Labels: #list, #update, %english, `ehem, `life, `school
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tagboard soon
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The cat loves to purr, and meow, and hiss. She's a very noisy cat, obviously. Kitty loves to sleep, next to her love for food. Food she loves include pizza, pasta, crepes, pancakes, cakes, milktea,burgers, etc. She loves being worshipped. Bow down to me!!! She loves cuddles, unless we're not close, eew don't touch me freak.
This kitty is in-love with a non-reacting bunny. He's always acting cool, and fails at it. He is crazy and loves computers.
This is still pretty much under construction; hence the emptiness.
Adopted Trees.
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