They say we miss the past because we're not quite happy of the present, or we don't see a promising future.

I have been going back to the past lately. And by lately, I mean every time I get the chance since midterms last sem. I'm trying to look for the exact time that I lose track of what I really want in life.

Right now, I'm going with the flow. Acads' fine, social life's fine... But, then what?

I know there was a time I was so sure of what I want in life. I had it all figured out, mapped, planned. All I had to do is tick off every goal I finish. But, I'm not getting anywhere. My heart is not happy with what I'm doing. I don't feel that this is what I want to do.

I don't want to be a Physicist anymore. I like Physics. I love the thrill, the chase, the challenge. But. I'm too scared, I'm fragile. I can only be rejected once. I just... can't... anymore.

Actually, I'm too scared for anything and everything right now. I don't have the confidence to be an Engineer, either. I don't know what I want to be. I don't think I want to be this way: Studying Sciences and Maths, and shit. Why? Why this? Did I srsly wanted this to be my life? I want to go back in time and slap myself. Why?

My heart does not belong here. But, what can I do? I can't back down now, can I? I'll just mindlessly go with this shit of a "future" I planned. I was so naive, believing I'd get to love the things the world wanted me to love.

Labels: #cw, #life, %english, `life, `me, `school

They say we miss the past because we're not quite happy of the present, or we don't see a promising future.

I have been going back to the past lately. And by lately, I mean every time I get the chance since midterms last sem. I'm trying to look for the exact time that I lose track of what I really want in life.

Right now, I'm going with the flow. Acads' fine, social life's fine... But, then what?

I know there was a time I was so sure of what I want in life. I had it all figured out, mapped, planned. All I had to do is tick off every goal I finish. But, I'm not getting anywhere. My heart is not happy with what I'm doing. I don't feel that this is what I want to do.

I don't want to be a Physicist anymore. I like Physics. I love the thrill, the chase, the challenge. But. I'm too scared, I'm fragile. I can only be rejected once. I just... can't... anymore.

Actually, I'm too scared for anything and everything right now. I don't have the confidence to be an Engineer, either. I don't know what I want to be. I don't think I want to be this way: Studying Sciences and Maths, and shit. Why? Why this? Did I srsly wanted this to be my life? I want to go back in time and slap myself. Why?

My heart does not belong here. But, what can I do? I can't back down now, can I? I'll just mindlessly go with this shit of a "future" I planned. I was so naive, believing I'd get to love the things the world wanted me to love.

Labels: #cw, #life, %english, `life, `me, `school