I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but, I like flying solo. If you have too much attachments, it's too much work and drama. This is just what I feel atm. Take Marian, for example. She's got tons and tons of friends. She was so stressed out with enrollment 'cause she needed to wait on them to finish one step to go the next. See how time consuming that is? That's exactly what I hate. But, then... after all the shit, she was able to enroll, have lunch with friends, go play Rock Band, and rest like a queen. Me? Psh. No friends, no stress, and no fun at all.

It's not like I choose to be alone. I'm just really awkward. I'm weird. I did try to have friends. I ended up hating people. I don't want that anymore. Knowing each other is fine. Let's not go deeper, let's not hold on tighter. And, my blockmates became closer after this and that, and, yeah, I wasn't there.

I'm such a weird kid. People say I'm a people-person. But, no. I'm not. I do try to be okay with everyone. Yes, another problem with me. I try to be kind to everyone, which sometimes leads to trouble. I want to protect myself from any type of corruption. The lesser interaction, the lesser damage I get. ANW, back to me being a weird kid. Well, I just am. People either say I'm a bitch, or I'm a queen. Either way, their wrong. I'm just an awkward kid trying to fit in. I talk, I smile, I laugh... but I'm always in the receiving end. I don't share. I can't share. I'm scared of people.

Awhile ago, I saw two people from my corridor. I didn't notice them since I had my earphones on, and I don't do eye-contact. She approached me and said, "lagi ka kasing naka-earphones, kaya di mo marinig ang mundo." And I know what she meant. I never hear people call my name because I seem to block them out alltogether. But right there and then, I felt so empty. Like, I choose to live an empty life. I'm pushing everybody away after I've tried and tested our attitudes' compatibility.

I just... I don't want to make friends anymore. Because I hate losing them. Breaking up with a friend is lightyears more painful than breaking up with a boyfriend. I don't want to make anymore connections. I thought we will be friends forever. Unbreakable, invincible. What's worse is, we never even talked about our problems... My mind forever screams that your cruel, a bitch. Yet, I miss you. So much.

And, I fly solo. Atleast some thinks I'm cool.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but, I like flying solo. If you have too much attachments, it's too much work and drama. This is just what I feel atm. Take Marian, for example. She's got tons and tons of friends. She was so stressed out with enrollment 'cause she needed to wait on them to finish one step to go the next. See how time consuming that is? That's exactly what I hate. But, then... after all the shit, she was able to enroll, have lunch with friends, go play Rock Band, and rest like a queen. Me? Psh. No friends, no stress, and no fun at all.

It's not like I choose to be alone. I'm just really awkward. I'm weird. I did try to have friends. I ended up hating people. I don't want that anymore. Knowing each other is fine. Let's not go deeper, let's not hold on tighter. And, my blockmates became closer after this and that, and, yeah, I wasn't there.

I'm such a weird kid. People say I'm a people-person. But, no. I'm not. I do try to be okay with everyone. Yes, another problem with me. I try to be kind to everyone, which sometimes leads to trouble. I want to protect myself from any type of corruption. The lesser interaction, the lesser damage I get. ANW, back to me being a weird kid. Well, I just am. People either say I'm a bitch, or I'm a queen. Either way, their wrong. I'm just an awkward kid trying to fit in. I talk, I smile, I laugh... but I'm always in the receiving end. I don't share. I can't share. I'm scared of people.

Awhile ago, I saw two people from my corridor. I didn't notice them since I had my earphones on, and I don't do eye-contact. She approached me and said, "lagi ka kasing naka-earphones, kaya di mo marinig ang mundo." And I know what she meant. I never hear people call my name because I seem to block them out alltogether. But right there and then, I felt so empty. Like, I choose to live an empty life. I'm pushing everybody away after I've tried and tested our attitudes' compatibility.

I just... I don't want to make friends anymore. Because I hate losing them. Breaking up with a friend is lightyears more painful than breaking up with a boyfriend. I don't want to make anymore connections. I thought we will be friends forever. Unbreakable, invincible. What's worse is, we never even talked about our problems... My mind forever screams that your cruel, a bitch. Yet, I miss you. So much.

And, I fly solo. Atleast some thinks I'm cool.