There are things we say we know even if we're totally clueless. There are times we say we can even if we're far from succeeding. There are times we say we do, but we don't see the point.

People can change over night... and can lie about changing or not.

Labels: emo, life

It's 11:53 pm, let's make it fast.



I miss a certain guy so much. He used to ask how I was doing, had I passed my requirements, was I getting along with the others... he showed me he cares. He used to tell me he knew I can, that I just have to believe I can. He believed in me. I miss him.

When I first saw him, I had the impressions that he's the kind of person that would make everybody happy. He was smiling. I was new to everything, but, seing the others cheering when he entered, I knew I wasn't wrong. I'm happy.

Sometimes, when our class do stupid things, he tells us something stupid in return. He would sing to us Dora The Explorer's or Teletubbies' theme songs. Even though he would always tell us to grow up, we never seem to listen. I bet it was hard for him, looking back now, Adelfa was a chaos, but united. It was fun while it lasted.

During the Humanities Week Celebration, since I was never athletic, Dadoods made a deal with me. I was my class' contestant for Ms. Humanities. It wasn't all bad. He helped me all the way. He prepared for almost everything. During the pageant, I'm very proud to say that my second Dad was the only teacher visiting his students. He checked on me and Marcgell, giving words of encouragement. He even brought an electric fan for me, promise!

It wasn't just Humanities Week. Not just Buwan ng Wika, or Nutrition Month... He would always look after us. Even though he would tell us to grow up, he gave us minimal chance to do so. I'm not sure if we were scared, or, maybe we just didn't want to "grow up", but, he never failed to help us, whatever the trouble was.

I miss him. We lost the Folk Dance just a while ago. And, believe it or not, I had a dream of him the night before, he was complaining about something in our routine, I'm not sure...

I guess it was right when he said it's time to stop depending on him and stand on our own feet. But, this time, we failed. . . I'm sad.

Our Dadoods is very talented.

Labels: emo, random, school

I wrote this July 2, 2007... lunch break...

And then I'm back
Back again to being ignored
After my fifteen seconds of fame
From cutting my wrist
And spilling my blood
I'm back again
Back to being ignored

What do you think? Anyway, I didn't prepare for this post. I just felt that I have to post this here and now. I guess it's women's instinct or something.

And then I'm back
Back again to being ignored

I really hate being ignored. Malamang kulang ako sa pansin or something. Basta, ganun 'yun.

After my fifteen seconds of fame
From cutting my wrist
And spilling my blood

Adelfamous pips, remember Bio? About the Microsoft... este... microscope pala... When we had our lab chuva. And I practiced... you know what. And then we looked at my blood under the microscope. It looked so stupid, pero. hehehe...

I'm back again
Back to being ignored

Alam nyo na yung feeling na parang wala kang halaga. Basta... Madrama kasi ako. Anyway, let's all try to SMILE! Kasi contagious ang frown!!!!

and...

THANK YOU TO EVERYBODY!
PLEASE READ "When Emos Attack".
Thanks.

Labels: emo, life, me, school, suicidal

I no longer want to be an emo. I can't stand faking a smile, a laugh, and everything else. I want these smiles to be real. I want to laugh about something without hurting someone, or simply myself. I want to be with somebody who doesn't expect me to be someone else. Man, I am emo! Well, you don't need to pass a test to be an emo. You don't have much of a choice! It just come slapping you on the face. It's not a choice. It just happens.

I'm no longer a freaking suicidal weirdo. But it doesn't mean the faucet of problems has run dry. It doesn't mean someone turned it off. I, myself, can't turn it. How could anybody else? But then, there were these little people passing by, who saw me crying trying to bust this damned faucet. One told me not to cut my wrist. It may come off, and my faucet will never have a chance to be turned off. Another told me he have the same problem. Knowing how it feels to be lonely, he accompanied me. But I didn't notice how close he was. I carelessly splashed some problems in his direction. I didn't knew this until I turned to look at him, walking away from my life. I'm sorry. Ei...

I stood up, and left the stupid faucet on. I looked around me. I was astounded. I tried all my life to stop the problems flowing. But, people around me, who are damn happy, have buckets, pales, and stupid looking containers; God, Family, Work. These are the things that can contain your problems. Stupid! They were there all along!!! Everybody have these jammed faucets of problems. I was not smart enough to think of something to catch my problems, instead, I waited for the time I forget about it. Now I know why it always comes back. And the pain dives into my heart deeper than usual.

To all of the problematic people: snap out of it, dude!
To all of the people who cares: thanks...
To all the people who have time for the bucket, and pales...: that's great! Keep it up!

To YOU: I'm really sorry. I know it was my fault. I was careless. But I can't take this anymore. I can't take it when we just pass by each other without a simple hello. I know I'm stupid. But please forgive me. I know what I said, but forget it. Now, I'm telling you: Sorry. I need you in my life.

Labels: emo, life, me

There are things we say we know even if we're totally clueless. There are times we say we can even if we're far from succeeding. There are times we say we do, but we don't see the point.

People can change over night... and can lie about changing or not.

Labels: emo, life

 

It's 11:53 pm, let's make it fast.



I miss a certain guy so much. He used to ask how I was doing, had I passed my requirements, was I getting along with the others... he showed me he cares. He used to tell me he knew I can, that I just have to believe I can. He believed in me. I miss him.

When I first saw him, I had the impressions that he's the kind of person that would make everybody happy. He was smiling. I was new to everything, but, seing the others cheering when he entered, I knew I wasn't wrong. I'm happy.

Sometimes, when our class do stupid things, he tells us something stupid in return. He would sing to us Dora The Explorer's or Teletubbies' theme songs. Even though he would always tell us to grow up, we never seem to listen. I bet it was hard for him, looking back now, Adelfa was a chaos, but united. It was fun while it lasted.

During the Humanities Week Celebration, since I was never athletic, Dadoods made a deal with me. I was my class' contestant for Ms. Humanities. It wasn't all bad. He helped me all the way. He prepared for almost everything. During the pageant, I'm very proud to say that my second Dad was the only teacher visiting his students. He checked on me and Marcgell, giving words of encouragement. He even brought an electric fan for me, promise!

It wasn't just Humanities Week. Not just Buwan ng Wika, or Nutrition Month... He would always look after us. Even though he would tell us to grow up, he gave us minimal chance to do so. I'm not sure if we were scared, or, maybe we just didn't want to "grow up", but, he never failed to help us, whatever the trouble was.

I miss him. We lost the Folk Dance just a while ago. And, believe it or not, I had a dream of him the night before, he was complaining about something in our routine, I'm not sure...

I guess it was right when he said it's time to stop depending on him and stand on our own feet. But, this time, we failed. . . I'm sad.

Our Dadoods is very talented.

Labels: emo, random, school

 

I wrote this July 2, 2007... lunch break...

And then I'm back
Back again to being ignored
After my fifteen seconds of fame
From cutting my wrist
And spilling my blood
I'm back again
Back to being ignored

What do you think? Anyway, I didn't prepare for this post. I just felt that I have to post this here and now. I guess it's women's instinct or something.

And then I'm back
Back again to being ignored

I really hate being ignored. Malamang kulang ako sa pansin or something. Basta, ganun 'yun.

After my fifteen seconds of fame
From cutting my wrist
And spilling my blood

Adelfamous pips, remember Bio? About the Microsoft... este... microscope pala... When we had our lab chuva. And I practiced... you know what. And then we looked at my blood under the microscope. It looked so stupid, pero. hehehe...

I'm back again
Back to being ignored

Alam nyo na yung feeling na parang wala kang halaga. Basta... Madrama kasi ako. Anyway, let's all try to SMILE! Kasi contagious ang frown!!!!

and...

THANK YOU TO EVERYBODY!
PLEASE READ "When Emos Attack".
Thanks.

Labels: emo, life, me, school, suicidal

 

I no longer want to be an emo. I can't stand faking a smile, a laugh, and everything else. I want these smiles to be real. I want to laugh about something without hurting someone, or simply myself. I want to be with somebody who doesn't expect me to be someone else. Man, I am emo! Well, you don't need to pass a test to be an emo. You don't have much of a choice! It just come slapping you on the face. It's not a choice. It just happens.

I'm no longer a freaking suicidal weirdo. But it doesn't mean the faucet of problems has run dry. It doesn't mean someone turned it off. I, myself, can't turn it. How could anybody else? But then, there were these little people passing by, who saw me crying trying to bust this damned faucet. One told me not to cut my wrist. It may come off, and my faucet will never have a chance to be turned off. Another told me he have the same problem. Knowing how it feels to be lonely, he accompanied me. But I didn't notice how close he was. I carelessly splashed some problems in his direction. I didn't knew this until I turned to look at him, walking away from my life. I'm sorry. Ei...

I stood up, and left the stupid faucet on. I looked around me. I was astounded. I tried all my life to stop the problems flowing. But, people around me, who are damn happy, have buckets, pales, and stupid looking containers; God, Family, Work. These are the things that can contain your problems. Stupid! They were there all along!!! Everybody have these jammed faucets of problems. I was not smart enough to think of something to catch my problems, instead, I waited for the time I forget about it. Now I know why it always comes back. And the pain dives into my heart deeper than usual.

To all of the problematic people: snap out of it, dude!
To all of the people who cares: thanks...
To all the people who have time for the bucket, and pales...: that's great! Keep it up!

To YOU: I'm really sorry. I know it was my fault. I was careless. But I can't take this anymore. I can't take it when we just pass by each other without a simple hello. I know I'm stupid. But please forgive me. I know what I said, but forget it. Now, I'm telling you: Sorry. I need you in my life.

Labels: emo, life, me